High school is a very challenging and confusing time for a lot of people, simply because it's where we grow and learn the most. It's hard to balance everything high school can throw at you between sports, clubs, school work, and any extra stuff you're involved in. For me, relationships have always been the hardest. My high school experience wasn't the best four years of my life. I didn't have very close friends, no one really knew me well, I was involved in sports but I didn't ever hang out with anyone from my school outside of campus and I was never invited to parties. I envied those other girls so much, the ones who would walk to class laughing with their friends or post cute picture of themselves in a slutty bunny costume on halloween with one of those red cups in their hand. I wanted to be like that. I wanted to join in on the fun. But I seemed invisible to everyone.
I think because I was knew to my high school my junior year, people didn't know me very well and just already had their friend groups. And it was a small school, so everyone knew everyone and their cousins. I was nice and people were nice to me and we talked in classes but that's where it stayed. I wasn't a horrible friend or anything. But through high school, no one was really my friend for long. Something would come up or we would just stop talking as much. There's nothing wrong with that, though. In high school you grow a lot and it's okay to out grow people. I spent most of my time in high school by myself, jealous of other girls who I thought had it all.
Fast forward to graduation. I don't really feel like there's anyone I miss besides my dog and my grandparents. I don't feel any sentimental value to my school that I only went to for two years. I didn't really have any emotional attachment to anyone and there were honestly some pretty bad memories there I was ready to leave behind. I was on to a new start; college.
When I got to college, I immediately felt more comfortable and less judged. I have become much more self-loving and appreciative and I am not jealous of those girls anymore. In high school, your reputation says something about you. In college, no one cares. Those girls that go out every night? Cool. Those girls that never leave their room? Cool. No one cares what you do. It's no longer important to have a cute Instagram or take cute pictures with the hottest drunk guy around (unless you like those things). I've seen people wear shorts and tank tops with nike socks and no shoes to class. I've seen people eating McDonald's breakfast in class and playing sims on their computer during class.
And the best thing? I have finally begun making those friendships that I think will last a long time. We're finally grown up and know a lot more about who we are, where we're headed and the kind of people we want to be around. My floor is a great group of people and I've loved getting to hang out with them and get to know them. If I ever have an issue, I feel like I could go to any one of them and they would care and help me out. I also have 89 new sisters that I love. If I ever needed anything at all, someone would be right by my side. I don't feel so invisible anymore. In high school, I used to think that I was just too weird or people didn't want to be my friend. But I realized in college that it's just about finding the right people who really appreciate you for you. It can be hard to find that in high school, but in college, you're going to find some of your lifelong friends and some of the best people you'll meet in your lifetime.
