sexual assault

There's A Mythical Hierarchy Of Sexual Violence

Sexual assault is sexual assault, period, end of story.


With the Kavanagh case dominating the news, many social media fanatics have taken to Twitter and Facebook to debate the "hierarchy of sexual misconduct." This is the idea that certain forms of sexual assault are worse than others. For instance, most people classify rape as being on the top of the hierarchy because it is the "worst" form of sexual assault. The idea of a hierarchy of sexual violence leads to a toxic culture of survivors dismissing their trauma and experiences. Additionally, this can cause perpetrators to justify their actions by saying, "I'm still a good person. It's not like I raped her/him/they."

This type of thinking is why we live in a world where perpetrators can become the president of the United States.

Even with Terry Crews and over 265 gymnasts coming forward about their sexual assaults that included groping, many people still do not see that form of assault as a "big deal." However, being groped by a stranger at a bar or someone who you trust is a very traumatizing experience. These types of experiences need to be seen as just as serious as any other type of sexual assault because for the person being assaulted, this has a lasting impact on their lives.

Commonly, I hear people make comments about how the impact of rape is more detrimental than other forms of assault. Specifically, they will point out that a rape can cause an unwanted pregnancy, which would have a lasting impact that others can see. However, no matter what type of sexual violence occurs, trauma arises for the survivor. For some people, PTSD is developed, other people get anxiety and depression, some start to have suicidal thoughts, and yes, others may get pregnant. Even if a survivor does not have this sort of reaction, or if they are not clinically diagnosed with some sort of condition following their assault, that does not take away how horrible the sexual violence was in the moment of the assault. Long-term effects of sexual assault look different for everyone.

No matter what type of sexual assault occurs, it is still sexual assault! It does not matter how long it lasted or what form of assault it was. No assault should be tolerated on college campuses, in a workplace, or in the realm of politics. Perpetrators need to be held accountable for their actions. Most importantly, the mindsets of the American people need to change.

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I'm The Girl Who'd Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

You raise your protest picket signs and I’ll raise my white picket fence.

Social Media feeds are constantly filled with quotes on women's rights, protests with mobs of women, and an array of cleverly worded picket signs.

Good for them, standing up for their beliefs and opinions. Will I be joining my tight-knit family of the same gender?

Nope, no thank you.

Don't get me wrong, I am not going to be oblivious to my history and the advancements that women have fought to achieve. I am aware that the strides made by many women before me have provided us with voting rights, a voice, equality, and equal pay in the workforce.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Who Would Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

For that, I am deeply thankful. But at this day in age, I know more female managers in the workforce than male. I know more women in business than men. I know more female students in STEM programs than male students. So what’s with all the hype? We are girl bosses, we can run the world, we don’t need to fight the system anymore.

Please stop.

Because it is insulting to the rest of us girls who are okay with being homemakers, wives, or stay-at-home moms. It's dividing our sisterhood, and it needs to stop.

All these protests and strong statements make us feel like now we HAVE to obtain a power position in our career. It's our rightful duty to our sisters. And if we do not, we are a disappointment to the gender and it makes us look weak.

Weak to the point where I feel ashamed to say to a friend “I want to be a stay at home mom someday.” Then have them look at me like I must have been brain-washed by a man because that can be the only explanation. I'm tired of feeling belittled for being a traditionalist.


Because why should I feel bad for wanting to create a comfortable home for my future family, cooking for my husband, being a soccer mom, keeping my house tidy? Because honestly, I cannot wait.

I will have no problem taking my future husband’s last name, and following his lead.

The Bible appoints men to be the head of a family, and for wives to submit to their husbands. (This can be interpreted in so many ways, so don't get your panties in a bunch at the word “submit”). God specifically made women to be gentle and caring, and we should not be afraid to embrace that. God created men to be leaders with the strength to carry the weight of a family.

However, in no way does this mean that the roles cannot be flipped. If you want to take on the responsibility, by all means, you go girl. But for me personally? I'm sensitive, I cry during horror movies, I'm afraid of basements and dark rooms. I, in no way, am strong enough to take on the tasks that men have been appointed to. And I'm okay with that.

So please, let me look forward to baking cookies for bake sales and driving a mom car.

And I'll support you in your endeavors and climb to the top of the corporate ladder. It doesn't matter what side you are on as long as we support each other, because we all need some girl power.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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