Through the past couple of years, I have begun to see a nasty habit in the women of my generation. I will say, a lot of it stems from a perfectly normal and GOOD longing in the heart of every woman, but the actions that are birthed from that longing can be toxic. I wrote about the dangers of idolizing marriage in a previous blog called "Bride First, Wife Later" and now I want to talk about the road to marriage. Something I like to call "The Pursuit".

I have had the privilege of going to ministry school with amazing women from all over, and I now attend Rhema Bible College with many God fearing ladies and men. Let me set the stage for you, picture men and women of God from all over the world giving their lives for the cause of Christ as their flame grows brighter with each waking moment. What a beautiful thing!! A room full of beautiful people, inside and out (someone go ahead and shout "GLORY!" ha ha). It's orientation week and everyone is on the prowl for their future mate. You can see it on every ones face and hear it in the whispers all around. Now, I don't think it's wrong to want to find your mate in a christian atmosphere by any means! I just think its become a little obsessive and over the top specifically with the girls, even outside of ministry school.

Let me be really honest with the girls for a second, pursuing your mate is frankly not your job. Not only are you robbing your future mate from the pursuit of a lifetime, but you are also robing yourself from the joys of being fully pursued. Let's dive a little deeper into this thought and reality. Proverbs 18:22 says, "The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD." When I read this verse I don't find it to mean that as a woman I need to do everything I can to be seen or found by a man. I believe this verse implies that the woman is HIDDEN just as a treasure is hidden and must be found by an intentional and beautiful pursuit. The man finds his treasure and his "good thing". Why then do we as women (myself included...I have definitely done this a time or two) feel the need to do everything we can to be noticed by that specific guy or men in general?

You must be hidden, in order to be found!

I believe the true key to finding the right man and not just any guy who will give us attention, is to be so hidden in Christ that the only way we can be found is in the depths of Jesus alone. No random, ordinary guy can find us in this state. The guy who finds this beautifully hidden treasure must know the Master on a deep level, and he must be able to recognize the treasure when he finds it. We as women, should never have to prove to anyone that we are a good thing or a treasure to be had. The man that finds this treasure will recognize it as pure gold and he will do anything to have it in his possession forever because he recognizes its value.

With that being said, don't be discouraged if a guy doesn't recognize your value. If someone came across a diamond and didn't see value in it, that doesn't make the diamond any less valuable. If he doesn't see your value, then he is not someone you should spend the rest of your life with. When the right man finds you, he will treat you as a one of a kind treasure that he sees priceless value in.

Let's dive into the subject of pursuit even further. Marriage is a reflection of Christs relationship with the church and with us as individuals, so how can we compare this truth to our walk with God? Let's take a look in the scriptures. John 15:16 says, "You didn't choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name." Christ found us and chose us! It was a scandalous and beautiful pursuit. He saw treasure in us that no one else did, and He made a way for us to enter into relationship. Isn't the husband supposed to be a reflection of Christ in a marriage covenant? Ephesians 5:25 says, "For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her." All in all, it is the mans job to find, choose, and lay down his life for the woman. This is what he was created for! Men love a hunt and they love an adventure, we should not steal their job from them. It is our job to be hidden in Christ and to be ready when our man finds us.

Stop trying to be seen, because you will be seen by the wrong kind of guys. You must be fully hidden in Christ to be found by the man you were created for. He will find you.However, that doesn't mean you don't have a part to play; prepare yourself and pave the way for your future husband in prayer, but stop trying to produce something that you were never meant to produce. Know that you are valuable just as you are, and the perfect guy for you will find you, and he will fully pursue your heart. It's a beautiful pursuit! Let your heart be at peace. Don't get stressed about it. You are treasured, and you will be found!