I remember watching you through the little window in the hospital and thinking, "I'm a big sister now." Karina and I used to fight over who would be the big sister, but we both knew it was end up being me, despite her being older. And then you were in our arms, so tiny and precious and I was so happy to have a little brother. You were the sweetest little kid.

The years went by and I found myself hanging out with you more, playing video games and tag and jumping on the trampoline. We harassed Karina together and tormented the neighbors. I watched you learn to shoot a gun, to ride a bike, to swim in the pool. You were growing so fast and it wasn't slowing down.

I went through the phase where I thought I was too cool to hang out with my little brother anymore, and I think that's when I realized that I would miss out on our relationship.

I went to high school and I couldn't be bothered with family matters. I couldn't believe you were growing up so fast and I tried to ignore it. Now, my senior year in college, you're about to be a sophomore in high school, and I hate how I missed out on so much of your life.

Countless birthdays went by where I couldn't be there to shove your face in your cake. I missed your football games and practices, watching you learn to drive dad's truck, and picking on any girl that thought that she was worthy of "dating you."

Then I had my drunk wine night, where I had to text you (which I forgot, you can text now) and tell you how much I love you and care about you. I wanted you to know that I was always going to be there for you, no matter what, and you could always come to me for anything, even things you were scared to talk to our parents about.

Because at the end of the day, you're my little brother and one of the coolest kids I know. Watching you grow up has been strange, especially now that you're bigger than me and can squat me over your shoulders. Knowing that I missed out on your youth and your high school career has been tough because I've wanted nothing more than to be your cool older sister.

I'm so sorry I'm never there and I'm sorry I haven't been the best sister. I want to be here for you now, to help you grow, and to watch you turn into the most bad ass kid ever.

Dylan, I love you so much. I will always be your sister and your friend.