We all know that one girl that keeps going back to their toxic boyfriend who swears he's "changed." Some of us have even been that girl. We also know all the girlfriends trying to be supportive but knowing deep down, he's still the same self-centered, toxic, ass that he was when you first got him. So what is it? Are girls just blinded by love? Or do we have a unrealistic expectation of being "the fixer" that romance movies have made seem real?

Here's what you need to realize. He is simply not going to change because you want him to. He's only going to get better at deceiving you. He's going to get better at hiding things from you. He's not going to change who he is, he's just going to change and improve at lying to you. He's going to keep his side chicks even more low key, he's going to hide his from and change his passcode on you. The reality is the "bad boy" that we thought was cool to date in high school, is not cool in college when he's continually ripping out your heart and stepping all over it.

Here's the reality. You shouldn't have to change him.

You need to stop giving in to him. I know he says the right things at all the right times and just pulls you in over and over again. Trust me, I've been there. But you need to stop going back to the boy who keeps leaving you. Because clearly, he isn't afraid to. And that really means something.

I also know you think he loves you. No. He loves the control he has over you. He loves the fact that he can leave and come back a week later when you've just started to pick yourself up again, and you will take him right back. He knows you'll take him back. He knows exactly how to get you back with pretty words wrapped in lies.

It's true. Love is blind. You only see what you want to see. You don't see him going out and getting drunk every night and cheating on you. But he swears it will never happen again. You don't see him avoiding your texts and ignoring you because he's with his friends, but he swears he's changed. You only see the good things. The phone calls asking you to come over and him telling you he misses you. And you might think he treats you okay. But is that what you really want? Just to be treated okay?

I know you love him. I also know you think you can "fix him." A part of you always will. You love the idea that one day, he'll wake up and change into the man you want him to be. But to be completely honest, he won't. Let's think: why love the idea of something or someone? Do you know how many people are in the world? Seven billion. Why are we caught up on ONE of the shitty ones? Why are you in love with the idea of him in your head, when you can go find someone who is everything you ever envisioned love being?

I can be harsh to you and i'm going to tell you right now, you are weak. You are taking the easy way out and sticking with something familiar no matter what it is doing to you. You need to stop settling. Everything in this world is too ordinary as it is, love shouldn't be. Love should be something that sets your soul on fire. The fights, the breakups, the disappointment, the lies. It needs to end. You can't keep doing this to yourself.

When you are ready to move on, he'll call you every name in the book, "you're a bitch", "you'll never find anyone like me", "you're crazy", "you're immature", and that's just fine. It's better to be all those things, than be anything like him.

There are hundreds of boys like him, thousands of boys nothing like him, and MILLIONS so much better than him. Believe me, in time, you will find a boy that you will fall head over heels in love with, it will be movie like romance. You will find someone who loves you and will do anything for you. And there won't be a thing you want to change about him. Except maybe the way he eats his food and that annoying snoring every night.