Have you seen the movie He's Just Not That Into You? Don't. There are few things in life that make me grit my teeth more than when book-lovers vehemently insist that "the book was soooo much better than the movie." But (just this once) I have to tell you... the book was soooo much better than the movie.

Spoiler alert:

He's Just Not That Into You, the movie, ruins the very point it sets out to make. From the opening lines, the film works so hard to eradicate the female mentality that men who disrespect us are, somehow, interested in us. The script hilariously pokes fun at the way women tenaciously make excuses for men's ambiguous behavior.

After not hearing back from a guy following a first date, the main character (Gigi) suggests, "maybe his grandma died, or maybe he lost my number, or is out of town, or got hit by a cab." Her friend, Alex, explains that she is being ridiculous and that all of these excuses women conjure up are really just that — excuses; he insists that when a man is truly interested in a woman, nothing will stop him from showing her.

And words don't count, because, according to Alex, men say things they don't mean all the time; a man that is genuinely interested will prove it through his actions.

As the plot progresses, Gigi misinterprets the time and attention Alex invests in teaching her these new rules. Thinking that he has feelings for her, she pursues a romantic relationship with him. After he blatantly rejects her, Gigi finally lets Alex's lessons sink in.

So far so good.

THEN, in the last five minutes, the entire concept is destroyed when Alex shows up—breathless—at Gigi's door, professes his undying love for her, and claims that she is "his exception".

Seriously?

The book, on the other hand, actually teaches women to stop being so self-destructive. With its Dear Abby-like set-up, the book features letters from women describing their relationship woes—guys who don't call/text after the first date, "boyfriends" who don't take them out on dates, guys who won't agree to exclusivity, long-term boyfriends who won't seriously discuss marriage.

Invariably, the author (Greg Behrendt) tells the women, "he's just not that into you." From first-hand experience, Greg explains that men are simple creatures and—contrary to popular belief—their actions are not complicated or confusing. Basically, if a man gives a woman any reason to doubt his affection, she should take his lack of effort at face value, because a man who cares will act accordingly.

As I read letter after letter, Greg's message increasingly resonated with me. I stopped allowing guys to drag me around and lead me on. These are forms of emotional abuse, and we have to stop entertaining them. I learned to ask myself, every time I had doubts about a guy's intentions, "what would Greg say?" Miraculously, my doubts would disappear. I no longer wasted valuable time analyzing a guy's inconsistent behavior to determine whether or not he was interested because I knew that he wasn't — or at least not enough to prove it. Next!

Not only has this new mindset spared me the heartache that results from the denial we've all been guilty of, but it has allowed me to find a man who seems to actually give a shit. I don't want to jinx it, but, if I weren't a superstitious woman, I'd say he's pretty great.

You're welcome.