You ever hit that point of being stretched too thin?
Just...way too thin. All-it-takes-is-one-breath-to-break-you thin. "I don't have enough time to stress about one event because five other events are happening simultaneously right now" thin. Have you ever reached the point where, as your world raged on around you, you simply thought, "This is too much"?
It seems to happen more often than it should, doesn't it?
Yet, in the midst of all of that, we want to be there for the people we care about. As our worlds literally groan under the burden of our busy lifestyle, we look to others to see how we might serve or become a better friend to those about whom we care so deeply. For crying out loud, we'd give just about anything to see the people we love smile, even if only for a moment. We jump hurdles we don't have the stamina to clear, we'll find hours in our days that don't actually exist, we'll create new concepts of time itself. If we help the people around us, then maybe it doesn't matter if we break, right?
Wrong.
Not just wrong. Immensely, unavoidably wrong. The moment we compromise on ourselves and decide to continue to add onto the stack of life's seemingly unavoidable circumstances with little regard for how it will inevitably cave in, we begin to deeply hurt not just ourselves but every single person around us. We think we are helping. We believe we will mentally, emotionally, and physically thrive under the strain. We brace ourselves against the impact and prepare to shoulder things for all the time we can.
But it is not a momentary impact this time. It is an ongoing storm. We can't weather it out because it's not a brief happenstance. The more we refuse to care for ourselves, the less likely the storm is too clear out and the worse it becomes. It saps us of our motivations, time, energy, capacity for caring. We just can't. And we start to think, "If I can't stop soon, then…"
So stop.
No, I truly mean it. Stop. Stop throwing all of yourself at other people. Be there for yourself so you can be there for others. Remember who you are. Recall why you want to help the people around you. Then tell yourself in such a way that you cannot forget: you are a precious human being. You cannot help other people if you do not help yourself. You will be able to serve the people around you so much better if you take the time to take care of yourself.
I know firsthand how hard it is to hear that. How hard it is to listen to that. But I am reminded often by the people I love that I am not helping them any less when I chose to help myself - I am helping them more. I am showing them that they matter to me by making sure I am in a state that allows me to help them freely and clearly. I can serve others far better when I am able to deal with myself.
Do not forget about you. Do not forget that you are cherished and loved, that people are there for you, that you do not have to shoulder the world alone. Do not forget that you should get to have the chance to relax, to rest, to know that you will be ok. Do not forget that people are there for you, no matter what. Do not forget about you.
Keep you in mind as you serve others. The rest, my friends, will follow.
