There are not many things I dislike more than people giving me inspirational or motivational advice when I get my heart broken. Personally, all that does to me is make me feel worse. I do not want to hear how "time heals all" or "you deserve better", because at this moment in time, I just want to feel hurt. And NEWFLASH: that is okay.

I've always been thankful for having supportive friends and family that never want to see me down, and I will forever appreciate their efforts to make me smile. However, I am a strong believer in the phrase, "it's okay, not to be okay." With that being said, one of the best times to not be okay is after a hard breakup.

He was perfect in your eyes. He had qualities that you only ever dreamed of and a laugh that made your heart race. He had a smile that could end wars and an infectious personality. You had never felt so comfortable around someone and you were constantly asking yourself, "Wow, how'd I get so lucky?" You're the happiest you've ever been and then it hits you like a fastball, BAM!... he dumps you.

Now those initial moments after a breakup are always confusing. You're sad, trying to process the reality of what just occurred, but at the same time, you feel nothing. You stare blankly into space for a while trying to replay the last few months and years in your head. Where did you go wrong? Was it something you did or said? Just yesterday he was holding you on the couch, watching TV, and today he's kicking you out the door.

This is the moment you've always feared. You've thought it out in your head and imagined it way differently. You told yourself you'd hold your head up and never shed a tear because clearly it just wasn't meant to be. But what exactly is stopping you from doing just that? It's called your heart...and it is not in good condition right now.

I can tell you right now, IT IS NOT GOING TO BE OKAY. It won't be okay for a while. It is going to suck and you're going to cry and for a while you're going to be trapped in a glass case of emotion. You're probably going to text him like crazy and just randomly burst into tears in the middle of class. You're going to make stupid decisions for the next few days and you're going to lie to yourself and tell yourself you're perfectly fine. YOU'RE NOT! and THAT IS OKAY!

I've always found that it's not until you tell someone what happened that it finally hits you. You call your mom, your best friend, your roommate, and it all comes pouring out. It starts with the ugly sobs, the boxes and boxes of Kleenex, and the constant question of, "WHY?" And I am here to tell you, THAT IS OKAY!

You just got dumped by someone you could have potentially spent your life with, NOBODY should expect you to walk out of that without a few wounds. It sucks, it royally sucks to be told you're no longer wanted or even worse, "I want nothing to do with you." Shot to the heart.

You should be able to cry all you want, and eat all the ice cream you want, and stay in bed moping as long as you want! You get drunk at home by yourself and you blare Taylor Swift! If everyone heals in their own time and own way, then why am I being rushed to forget? Who put a time limit on the aftermath of a breakup? If I want to cry for a week straight, I will. And if I want to listen to depressing music for a month, I WILL!

I'm the kind of person that knows I will move on eventually, because I have before. I've been hurt, and I've cried, and I'VE HEALED. But no one should be rushed to do that. Let me shake back at my own pace, not yours. We all know we'll be okay at some point. We're young and we need experiences like this, so at this very moment, I want to be heartbroken.

I hate when someone tells me, "You need to move on, he already has." Thanks, that makes me feel so much better. WRONG! Thank you for stating the obvious truth for me; I know I need to move on and I will, but don't tell me when or how I should do it. And PLEASE don't expect me to quit cold turkey. The best friends and the best families are those that lend an ear. Let me take my time and trickle off. If that means talking about every memory or bringing up his name in conversation, then let me be. Eventually you will run out of memories and soon you'll replace his name, but for now, get it all out.

You've finally cut it down to one Kleenex box, and he occasionally crosses your mind throughout the day, but you got up out of bed and you went on with your day. Then the next day, you repeat the same process. Days go by and you're finally functioning like normal again. You might still cry yourself to sleep every now and then, but it's no longer ugly sobs, and you might still try to text him, but it's not in paragraphs like it used to be. That is okay.

So a few months have now passed, and you're almost back to your full self. You've been going out with friends, you're focused on school, and you may even be texting a new guy. Don't be surprised if all it takes is one Ellie Goulding song to bring you back to the heart ache. That is okay. Maybe you feel it deep down, but you're not crying, you're not moping, and you're no longer breaking. It may have taken a little longer than you wanted, but you're healing.

I've never been one to forget things quickly. I remember every detail of every little thing that has ever made me happy. Maybe that's a problem for some people, but for me, I consider it a blessing. I love looking back, and I love remembering. This doesn't mean I live in the past, but I sure do learn from it. That's the point of heartbreak after all. It's about the experience and the lesson.

For some people it may only take a week, or a month, and for some it may take years to get over a heartbreak. Point is, you do get over it, no matter how long it takes or how you go about it. However, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being heartbroken. You should never feel rushed to move on and you should never have to hide your emotions from your friends and family out of fear of what they might say.

You be heartbroken girl, and you stay heartbroken as long as you need. Do what you have to do and take your time. Just be sure that once it no longer hurts to hear his name and there are no longer mascara stains on your pillow, you never cry for the same reason ever again.