"I love you," are three of the most powerful words anyone can hear.
"I don't love you," are the four words that can tear worlds asunder.
Three words can build, four words to destroy. I never wanted it to end this way; actually, I didn't want it to end at all. A week or so ago my heart was broken, and my world was ravaged and destroyed. To think in the span of one phone call my life could be changed so drastically, in the span of a moment my girlfriend broke up with me. Sure, it's a bit melodramatic to relate a breakup to the end of the world. Clearly, it isn't because I'm writing this article now, but in the moment and in the days after it felt like everything was ending. I kept thinking about how the relationship started and ended, and I kept thinking about how real the pain felt.
It felt as if my heart was literally shattering, and with each crack: a memory. Bit by bit the heart falls apart until it starts to rebuild itself. The breaking of the heart is important here because the pain allows you to divorce yourself from the memories just enough, for just long enough, that it feels less like memories and more like stories. The shattered memories of the heart unfold like pages in a book. You see yourself living through the memories as if you were a character in a book or play. You aren't fully you, the emotions come but only as much as the emotions come when you watch a movie. For this brief period of time, you don't feel the pain.
The next moment, the pain comes back. You find yourself flooded with tears, and you feel lost. What can you do to make the pain stop? You turn towards your friends and family, and they try to help you. They cheer you up, fill your confidence, and help you back on your feet. But the only thing that mends the heart is time. People will say that there is nothing that can be said that will make things better. To an extent, they are right. The only thing that can make your heart mend is time and your own personal process of working through things.
At the same time, however, they are also wrong. There are some things that will help in a situation like this one. It helps to know that you are loved and cared for, it helps to open yourself up to others when all you want to do is be closed off, and most importantly it helps to know that things will get better. Eventually, the waves of pain dissipate and loose energy, and in time the pain will be gone. The most important thing is not allow yourself to slip into the dark waters of doubt, depression, and self-depreciation. It is not your fault that they broke up with you, they are the ones missing out for not loving you. Take that to heart, and let the love of your friends and family fill the hole left behind.
Things will get better, but only if you let them.
