Heartbreak.
The most indescribable, horrible and awful feeling that can't be ignored no matter how badly we wish we could turn it off with the flip of a switch. One word with so much history and pain behind it. Throughout the two decades that I've spent on this planet I've experienced and seen a lot of heartbreak, as we all do. Some big and some small.
Losing the biggest game of your career and letting thousands of people down. The end of a treasured relationship or friendship. And, what I believe is the worst of all, the loss of a loved one.
Obviously, there is heartbreak that is of a greater magnitude than others. But, no matter what the scale of heartbreak, there is always the feeling of what could've been done or said to prevent something from happening. The worst feeling is the blame that we have a tendency to put on ourselves for what happened.
We've all been there, we go around in circles laying in bed at night playing scenarios in our heads. Trying to figure out how to let go, to forgive ourselves and how to focus on what's ahead and not behind. I'm a firm believer in the idea of not forgetting the past and using what's behind me to fuel myself for the future. Every heartbreak has a takeaway - something to be learned. In heartbreak do we only realize how strong we are. It hurts sometimes so bad it makes you sick but it can be overcome.
"Time heals all wounds."
Since junior year of high school, on countless occasions, my mom has always said this phrase to me. It was something that I couldn't understand at first, partially because of the lack of patience I have. As I've gotten older, I'm able to understand the phrase a lot better and take it to heart.
For some reason, time can be our greatest friend and our biggest enemy. In my own experiences, time has helped heal the things that I couldn't let go of. Experiences involving the broken relationships that I clung too, the friends I've lost to tragic events and the worst of all the loss of one of the most selfless people I know, my grandpa. I won't ever forget the days I spent with the constant feeling of pain and tears until my eyes couldn't cry anymore, but time always seemed to numb the pain. The pain will always be there, but eventually, there will be acceptance.
We are not guaranteed tomorrow, so we have to live every day letting go of bitterness and anger, treating others with kindness and giving everything we are working for 110 percent. It's only in acceptance and using what we know from the past, that we will grow stronger and overcome the heartbreak that we encounter in our lives.
