Sometimes our hearts trick us, leaving us in constant conflict with ourselves. You touch my skin and I feel the ice inside my bones begin to thaw. The corners of your mouth turn upwards towards the sky, presenting a smile so contagious it instantly infects me. Your lips meet mine and explore my body like a lost boy trying to read a map. I look into your eyes and see a world of confusion and longing for hope that you will find what you’re looking for within the depths of my heart and soul.
But how can I tell that these feelings consuming me are real? How do I know you are real? I cannot yet decipher if this is love or lust. All I know is that you paint a smile on my face with a light so bright the world is blinded. It’s new. It’s unfamiliar. I haven’t smiled like that in God knows how long. An alleviation of this everlasting numbness has finally begun to reach me. My soul is black, but your presence sends colors to swim in my veins; a feeling so unfamiliar and foreign I almost can’t recognize it. In fact, I don’t think I have yet determined what this feeling is but I hope it carries me to the clouds in a swift movement to pull me out of the pit I've fallen into.
How could my empty heart ever let you in knowing the spectrum of color you bring could be washed away at any moment? I want to trust this feeling. I want to believe I can endure this wave of emotion as I have not been capable of before. I wish the world would sit still for a moment and bestow upon me the answers I have been searching for. Maybe the answers are inside of you. Maybe I am blind to the answers I hold within myself. I look to the sky in hopes that the answers will rain on my face in a torrential downpour convincing me that everything will work out in the end exactly as it was meant to beThe thing about life is this: there is no way of knowing what the future holds. We can ponder the possible paths and obstacles that come with each one, but time is the only thing we know for certain. Time will not stop no matter how much you want it to. We sit upon this clock, ticking on and on with no interruption. Time only moves forward and dwelling on the past will only cause you to miss out on the present. All we can do is allow these ever turning hands of time to carry us along the path that will bring us back home.
