Relationships are an important part of young adulthood, as it helps you determine what you are and who you want to be. Relationships should uplift you, encourage you, and shape you into a better version of yourself. However, not everyone has your best interest in mind. Sometimes it can be difficult to accept the fact that someone you deeply care for is not who you thought they were. From my experience, these examples are what I've learned, and I hope that you can take something from it.
1. They insist you put their needs before yours
If you are dating someone who expects you to drop what you are doing to tend to their needs, you need a wake up call. Your partner should never expect you to put your goals on hold. They should never make you feel bad about pursuing something because it is an inconvenience to them. A partner that loves you will understand that.
2. Your significant other compares you to other girls (or guys)
There is no justifiable reason why your partner should compare you to an ex, another girl/guy, or so on and so forth. There's a reason why you are who you are, and it is not to live up to someone else's standards. A healthy relationship would accept each other for who they are, flaws and all.
3. They force you into doing things you do not wish to do
This goes for anything. If they make you feel like you have to do something even though you made it clear you do not want to, they are the problem. A person that truly cares for you will not force you into doing anything. A good partner will respect every choice you make. Do not let anyone force you into doing anything you don't want to.
4. You are putting all of the work into the relationship
A relationship should be 50/50 and nothing in between. If you are the only one contributing, working, putting money in, buying things; then you have to leave. You deserve better than exhausting yourself only to be the only one caring. A healthy relationship involves two people who care enough to put effort in equally.
5. They threaten to hurt themselves when you decide to break it off
If you decide to end the relationship and they try manipulating you into staying, they have a bigger problem than just a breakup. No one should make you feel like you need to stay in a relationship you do not benefit from. If one out of two people are not happy, it's time to say goodbye.
I've had my fair share of terrible relationships, but it has built my character and has helped me determine who I am as a person. We are all worthy of happiness, and eventually, we will all find somebody who makes our lives better.
After a very toxic relationship, I'm now with someone who treats me wonderfully even on the days I don't necessarily deserve it. I wouldn't trade my boyfriend for the world, and I'm glad I get to experience such a great relationship after being with someone who did not deserve to have me.
You will find someone too, and I'm so excited for you.
