Your Trauma Does Not Define Who You Are
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Your Trauma Does Not Define You, It's Just Another Part Of Your Story That Makes You Stronger

Your healing is what matters.

184
Your Trauma Does Not Define You, It's Just Another Part Of Your Story That Makes You Stronger

trau·ma/ˈtroumə,ˈtrômə

noun

a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.

Everyone feels or experiences trauma to a different degree. Some handle it well, others do not. Some go through small things, while others experience drastic ones. Unfortunately for me, my traumatic events like to keep happening. Especially recently — I feel like I can never get a break. After going through family issues, being in my second abusive relationship, losing a grandparent for the second time, going through a nasty breakup and a big move, and switching from a job I had been with for over two years, I thought it was done and that I would have a moment to breathe.

Boy was I wrong.

In 2019, I turned 21. I couldn't wait to be opened to a whole new world with my friends and family. I celebrated my birthday with my sick grandma because ironically enough, we share the day. After seeing her, I had an awesome night with my family (who got me JONAS BROTHERS TICKETS???!!!) and my long-term boyfriend. I returned to work the next day, feeling happy and refreshed, and feeling like I was about to get the break I deserved.

Not even 24 hours later, my dad called me to let me know my grandmother had passed. I was distraught, left work, and rushed over to my family's house. The worst part was seeing my grandfather lose his best friend. The whole situation reminded me of when my maternal grandmother died, and a lot of old memories came back to me. As if things couldn't get worse, not even five days later, my mom called me on my way home from work to let me know that my cousin had been in a life-threatening car accident. She followed up the call later to let me know he had passed. I spent the rest of the day wondering why everything had to happen at once. "Is this what turning 21 gets me?" I remember repeating that all day every day.

The following week was Thanksgiving, but because I had two family members pass away on both sides of my family, no one really knew what to do. It was a really awkward and sad holiday. The funerals were set for the Friday and Saturday after Thanksgiving. I had to go straight from a funeral to trying to have a good time seeing my favorite boy band. I just remember asking myself if I even deserved anything positive that I was getting amongst all the negatives.

After that, my job started getting less fun and more annoying, I didn't talk to my friends quite as much as I used to, and I just felt unmotivated. Life started getting harder, and every single thing that had happened in the last two years was slowly creeping up on me. Even things from years ago that I wanted to forget were resurfacing.

I knew I had to do something before I got completely sucked under.

I started appreciating the positive people in my life, and either letting go of the negative ones or accepting the fact of them letting me go. What is the sense of trying to keep around a toxic friend that doesn't uplift you, even when you're trying to uplift and interact with them?

I thanked my mom and boyfriend for their support. They were so concerned about me and my well-being, they would get together and work on ways to help me feel better. Rather than tear my support system down and try and handle things on my own, I accepted the help and felt appreciated.

I started going to therapy. Am I afraid to say that? Not at all. Talking to someone who knows nothing about you and has an outside opinion is AWESOME! You get to see from more than just one side, and it actually helps you a lot.

I started a new job. I found a job I had wanted for a long time, and after years of saying I was going to apply I actually did — it paid off. I'm blessed to work at a place with an amazing support team and to have found something I'm naturally drawn to.

Am I 100 percent OK? No, not at all. Will I ever be? Maybe not. But doing all this helped me and kept me going. I have hard days here and there, and some things will never go away, but I have come so far, I know I can only go up further.

When faced with trauma, you have two choices.

1. You let it completely engulf you until it eats you away and you are lost.

2. You take the trauma, learn from it, and grow into a beautiful human despite anything you may have been through.

I know first hand that doing the second one seems nearly impossible sometimes. But it's not. There are so many small things you can start doing to slowly heal yourself. You have to remember that YOU are amazing, YOU are worth it, and NOTHING you have been through can define you.

Also, never be afraid to ask for help every once in a while.

A cry for help doesn't make you weak, going to therapy doesn't make you crazy, and needing a support team to give you a push doesn't make you unstable.

In fact, in my opinion, it makes you braver. The fact that you can stand up after being knocked down, start picking the pieces up, and acknowledge that you might need a little help is super amazing.

Healing isn't a quick process. It's not even a pretty one. It's quite ugly. It's mood swings, PTSD flashbacks, nights of crying or not being able to sleep, and tons of overthinking. But as the days go by, you'll feel naturally happier and more positive, your tears will come less, you'll be able to think at the moment, and sleeping will be normal again.

I promise you, you are not your trauma.

You are bigger, you are better, you are way more than that.

Your trauma is part of your story but it does not define you.

Your healing is the end result.

YOU are you because you walked away from it stronger.

Report this Content
Featured

What Memorial Day Is

The importance of Memorial Day

407
Haddon Heights Library

Memorial Day is an American holiday, observed on the last Monday of May, honoring the men and women who died while serving in the U.S. military. Memorial Day 2018 occurs on Monday, May 28. Originally known as Decoration Day, it originated in the years following the Civil War and became an official federal holiday in 1971. Many Americans observe Memorial Day by visiting cemeteries or memorials, holding family gatherings and participating in parades. Unofficially, it marks the beginning of the summer season.

Keep Reading... Show less
What College Girls Remember from their Summers as a Kid

Yes, summer is almost here.. so what should we remember

Keep Reading... Show less
The 100 Things Millennials have ruined: A Comprehensive List
http://www.factandmyth.com/the-middle-class/are-mi...

Millennials: the generation everyone loves to hate. The babies of 1980 to 1995 take a lot of heat. I mean, we inherited a crashed economy, earn stagnant wages, live with crippling student loan debt, and try to enact change in a rigged system but our affinity for avocado toast and use of technology has wrecked society as we know it! As a tail end millennial, I wanted to know what I was ruining and, like any other annoying millennial would, I did some research. I scoured the internet, read online newspapers and scrolled through every listicle I could find. So, in case you needed another reason to resent the millennial in your life, here are the 100 industries we've killed, things we've ruined or concepts we've destroyed.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Anxiety Doesn't Discriminate

This month, Odyssey brings about awareness & normality to conversations around mental health from our community.

10185
Anxiety Doesn't Discriminate

It's no secret that even in 2018 our country still struggles with discrimination of all kinds. Society labels individuals by the color of their skin, heritage, religion, sexuality, gender, size, and political beliefs. You are either privileged or you're not. However, here's the thing, anxiety doesn't care about your privilege. Anxiety doesn't discriminate.

Keep Reading... Show less
College Boy Charm is Real and it's Very Sexy
Disney

After surviving a year of college and watching "Clueless" countless times, I've come to the conclusion that college boy charm is very much a real thing and it's very very attractive. It's easiest explained through Paul Rudd's character, Josh, in "Clueless". The boy who has a grip on his life and is totally charming. In this article, I will list the qualities of a specimen with College Boy Charm, to help you identify him at your next party or other social events.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments