Growing up, my life centered around my family. It gathered around big huge family events, and Sunday get togethers for dinner. It gathered around week long camping trips on the beach with everybody, and having deep discussions around the fire. It gathered around my cousins and I being together 24/7. On my mom's side, I have two younger cousins - Justin and Jordan. On my dad's side, I have five younger cousins - Nick, Ashley, Chris, Mikey, and Lindsay. Along with my dad's side, I also have my stepmom's side with four more cousins - Lou and his wife Lisa (yes Lisa, you are my cousin,) Alex, and Gabby. And let's not forget the second cousins - Tanya, Kyle, Justin and Taylor. Needless to say, there was a lot of us running around.
My cousins are my best friends, hands down. Now, they're not just my cousins because we were forced together growing up, but we all have a special bond that nobody is going to be able to break. We've all experienced the good, the bad, and the ugly - and we've always been there for one another. We've experienced loss, and we've experienced gain. We've experienced heartbreak, and we've experienced love. We've experienced the weak moments, and the strong. We didn't just go through everything together because we were forced together, we went through it together because our strength has bounced off one another onto ourselves.
A lot of people may find it irritating to have to be the older cousin. I was always looked at as the role model growing up, which I felt at some times kind of put some pressure on me. I always had to set an example, and it was as if I couldn't mess up. But reality is, I did mess up. And my messing up was a way for them how to learn not to. I liked being able to help them out in some way shape or form, even if it meant from my mistakes. I liked knowing that they knew they could each come to me if there were any concerns.
And the same goes for my older cousins that I gained through my dad's marriage (except for you Gabby, you're still the younger cousin even if it's by two months.) I enjoyed finally having someone I felt that I could look up to. I liked having the older cousins I could go to if I had embarrassing questions I could no way shape or form ask my parents. It felt good I had some sort of outlet that wasn't an adult.
To my beautiful cousins, please know I miss you all tremendously. We may not talk every day and we may not see each other often, but I love you all so much. My life would not be what it is now if it wasn't for each and every one of you sticking by my side and supporting me growing up. You guys have truly made me who I am today, and I'm forever thankful for it. Each of you made me find my sensitivity and my big heart as a strength, and not a weakness. Each of you made me want to care for others, since it felt as if I did for some of you growing up. Each of you made me want to be someone other's could confide in, like some of you did for me. You each have left a gigantic impact on my life and who I want to be as a person, and for that I'm thankful for each and every one of you.
