As I sat in a hospital gown in a plain white room with an IV stuck in my right arm, I began thinking about what I was about to do. The thing that many women would pay thousands of dollars for, I was about to get "rid of” in a few hours. The source of years of pain and low self-esteem was about to be gone. My plastic surgeon would make four big incisions that would be life changing. At age 20, going into my sophomore year of college, I had a breast reduction.

I want to share this experience with others, especially those who have gone through the same sort of struggles I was dealing with for years and years before I had this surgery.

I had 38 DDs. Not only did I have to carry these around with me on my body every single day, but they also seemed to define me. As someone who is 5’3”, this was way too much weight to be carrying on my chest. My breasts were the thing that seemed to follow my name throughout my adolescent life. I was known as Meggie, the girl with huge boobs. Fantastic, right? Wrong. The one thing girls my age wanted, I had way too much of.

I couldn’t wear the right size in tops, blouses and dresses, I always had to go up one or two sizes. I always wore baggy clothes, trying to hide my chest. I wore two sports bras whenever I was exercising, even at my dance studio. I could never shop at the stores with the “cute” bras because they wouldn’t fit and would never be enough support. I rarely could wear a bikini because no companies at the time made tops for girls with boobs my size. I had dents in my shoulders from the weight that was constantly pulling down on my bra straps as well as excruciating back pain. This was probably one of the worst symptoms. I would wake up at night in agonizing pain, and nothing could be done about it. I'd take a few Advil, put on a heating pad and pray it would go away, so I could fall back asleep. No girl between the ages of 14 and 22 should have to experience any of these things.

This is the time in a girl’s life when she should be enjoying her body and embracing her body as much as possible. But to be honest, I hated mine. The emotional effect of having oversized breasts was severe. My family had watched it affect me for years, so when I came to them with the idea of a breast reduction, they were nothing but supportive. They wanted me to be happy and proud of my body, instead of wanting to hide it for the rest of my life.

After I had come to the brave decision to have a breast reduction, our insurance company informed me and my family they would not cover this procedure. I was in shock. Something that had not only affected me physically and emotionally for years, they considered a “cosmetic operation” to fix. Insurance companies have a long list of symptoms that have to be all physical, no psychological symptoms whatsoever, and if you do not experience most or all of these, they will not cover the surgery. Luckily, my family was able to afford it, and I am forever grateful to them for being able to have this surgery.

Dr. Fred Lester and his team in Dallas did my surgery, which took a little more than four hours – four hours that truly changed how I was going to wake up and see myself for the rest of my life. I spent the night in the hospital, and the next morning, from the moment I woke up, I immediately felt lighter. It was such a crazy feeling. When I got home, my mom (shout out to her for being the most amazing nurse and caretaker) helped me unwrap my bandages, so I could see my size 38 C boobs for the first time. I was speechless. Yes, there was a lot of bruising, swelling and blood around my stitches that were the only thing holding them together, but even then, I was so proud and happy. I spent about six weeks recovering, all of which were all about laying low and not doing any strenuous activity. I have three scars on each breast from the three incisions, but almost three years later, they are barely noticeable and are still continuing to fade.

I can't stress what a difference this decision had on my life and my happiness. Life isn’t about having a perfect body, or perfect boobs, but it is about making choices for yourself that are going to better you and make you happy. If you are thinking about doing this, contact a plastic surgeon. They will talk you through everything and let you know you’re not alone in what you’ve been feeling. This remains, to this day, one of the best things I have ever done for myself. The back pain and shoulder dents are gone. I can wear one sports bra and dresses, shirts and bathing suits that actually fit the rest of my body and not just my chest. I am proud to say that a breast reduction helped shape my self-esteem and myself into who I am today.