Have You Loved You Today?

Have You Loved You Today?

Advice from a former people pleaser.

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I believe in the power of a sticky note. Covering my desk and clinging to pages in my planner are pastel, square sticky notes with small reminders and to-dos to be done scribbled upon them. They are hard to miss and are usually more likely to be reread than something written on a bland colored, flat surface. Besides being my persistent cues to get things done, I like to write little notes to my favorite people. Sometimes I recognize that one of my friends is having a rough week, so I will write them a short and sweet appreciation note. I am a big advocate in words of affirmation and writing is kinda my thing, so my remedy for anything subpar is followed by one of my little soft-hued love letters. In addition to giving sticky notes to others, I write my short quotes and impactful sayings on them as well. And my personal favorite these days has been on a light purple note that reads "Have you loved you today?" As a former people pleaser, I have always given and given and given to others, while neglecting that same attention for myself. Now when I read that note, I remember to do something to fulfill and validate myself too.

My main source of self-care is exercising. There is something so liberating about adventuring on foot and celebrating the sunshine with a six-mile run. On days I would rather do anything but go to the gym or go for a run, I figure out what I am unconsciously desiring. Whether it is a nap, a long shower, a rambunctious giggling session with my best friends, or soul-filling food, I know I am intentionally giving myself the love I need for the day.

I have finally ingrained this in my head and integrated the realization that it is okay to give yourself time by putting energy and effort into activities that you do solely for enjoyment. Giving your mental health precedent over the never-ending to-dos and ever-growing checklists is not a suggestion, it is a necessity. After 20 years, I have come to realize that there is no one else in the entire world that can make you feel sufficient. If you are enough for yourself, then you are forever abundant. So go grab a sticky note of your favorite color and remind yourself to go do what makes you, more you.

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A list Of 15 Inspiring Words That Mean So Much

A single word can mean a lot.
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Positivity is so important in life. A lot of times we always go to quotes for empowerment but I have realized that just one word can be just as powerful. Here is a list of inspiring words.

1. Worthy

Realizing your self-worth is important. Self-worth can really make or break a persons personality. Always know that you are worthy of respect. And also, never compare yourself to others.

2. Courage

Be courageous in life. Life has so many opportunities so do not be scared to grasp any opportunity that comes your way. You have the ability to do anything you have your heart and mind set to do, even the things that frighten you.

3. Enough

When you are feeling down and feeling that nothing you do is ever good enough, know that you are more than enough. And yes there is always room for improvement but when it comes to my self-worth I always have to remind myself that I am enough.

4. Blessed

Be thankful. A lot of times we forget how blessed we are. We focus so much on stress and the bad things that are going on in our lives that we tend to forget all of the beautiful things we have in life.

5. Focus

Focus on your goals, focus on positive things, and focus on the ones you love. Do not focus on things that will keep you from not reaching your goals and people that do not have good intentions for your life.

6. Laugh

Laughing is one of the best forms of medicine. Life is truly better with laughter.

7. Warrior

Through the good and the bad you are a warrior. Be strong, soldier.

8. Seek

Seek new things. Allow yourself to grow in life. Do not just be stuck.

9. Faith

During the bad times, no matter the circumstances, have faith that everything will be all right.

10. Live

Start living because life is honestly way too short. Live life the way you want to live. Do not let anyone try to control you.

11. Enjoy

Enjoy everything that life has to offer. Enjoy even the littlest of things because, as I said before, life is short. And plus, there is no time to live life with regrets.

12. Believe

Believe in yourself and never stop. Believing in yourself brings so many blessings and opportunities in your life.

13. Serendipity

A lot of times we look for things to fill an empty void that we have. Usually what we are looking for comes when we are not looking at all. Your serendipity will come.

14. Create

Share your ideas with the world. Creativity brings change to your life. However you chose to use your creativity do not be scared to show your intelligence, talent, and passion.

15. Love

The world is already full of so much hate, so love unconditionally with all your heart.

Cover Image Credit: Tanveer Naseer

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Internet outraged at Delhi Aunty for Sl*t Shaming

Public outrage - justified or an overreaction?

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When the topic of sexual violence against women arises, women are often held responsible - because of how they dress, or how they behave, or even if they have a voice. A recent incident in Delhi showed that the mindset of people has not changed. In a video posted by Shivani Gupta, a middle-aged woman is seen defending her claim, "Women wearing short dresses deserve to be raped."

This backward mentality surrounding rape and rape culture is horrifying to see. The middle-aged woman first shamed them for wearing short clothes and when she was confronted, she told them "they deserved to get raped." She made things worse when she told other men in the restaurant to rape such women who wear short clothes.

Shivani and her friends later confronted this woman while taking the video. They wanted a public apology for her statement and followed her around. The older woman stood by her statement. Fair enough. They felt threatened by her statements and wanted an apology for her actions. The older lady, however, was brazen about her ideologies and refused to apologize. In fact, she threatened to call the cops for harassment.

The woman who made the regressive statements. Shivani Gupta

While the anger and outrage by the women who uploaded this video are justified, several questions are being raised on whether the older woman was later harassed for her statements. Public shaming is not the way to solve this issue.

"We cannot dismantle a culture of shaming by participating in it." - Rega Jha.

Now, I believe that nobody must engage in victim shaming. Nobody has the right to police the outfit one wishes to wear. It is astonishing to believe that even in the 21st century, people still believe that an outfit determines the morality and character of a person. That older woman was wrong to sl*t-shame the girls for wearing what they want. That being said, even though what that woman did was horrible, public shaming will not work. It will not change the mindset behind these ideologies. What that older woman did was akin to bullying. Publicly shaming her, stalking her facebook account or posting comments or by coercing her, you are also behaving in the same manner of bullying.

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