I Haven't Dated Anyone Because I Have High Standards, And I Don't Feel Bad About It | The Odyssey Online
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I Haven't Dated Anyone Because I Have High Standards, And I Don't Feel Bad About It

People shouldn't have to settle just to be in a relationship.

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I Haven't Dated Anyone Because I Have High Standards, And I Don't Feel Bad About It
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I've never had a relationship before.

Everyone has always asked me, why?

Well first, I'm an Asian American whose parents are traditional. In their culture, when you're in a relationship, the parents have to approve, and if they don't, then you shouldn't date the person. Or, the parents will introduce you to someone. Also, you are kind of expected to get married where most of your relatives live to share the experience with them.

I'm not a fan of that. I'd rather find someone on my own.

I'm picky because I like someone to be a certain way. I like someone who can be kind yet productive with their day. It's not hard for someone to be productive, but there are so many others who aren't.

Also, since my parents are traditional, I'm always afraid because what if they don't like my partner? If they don't but I still really like the person, then what? Would I have to give up a good relationship with my family? Would I have to sacrifice my own happiness? That wouldn't be fair.

Keep in mind, I'm a bisexual female, so what if I dated a girl? Would my relatives think I'm disgusting or would they not care? People keep asking me, "when are you dating?" or "have boys tried to flirt with you yet?"

Look, I have been asked out. Sometimes, I go out for a coffee date, but there are no sparks or any potential. If that happens, I just say I'm not interested and I no longer want to see you again. I refuse to keep seeing someone knowing I have no interest in them. That wouldn't be fair because what if they really liked me? Leading someone on is not a kind thing to do.

I haven't met anyone I feel I could date. When I do, then my relatives would be the first to know, if not, then please stop asking me about it. Also, I wouldn't date just anybody. I'd like to date someone who has ambition, or at least a job. It's not just about me liking someone, but the feelings should be mutual.

Some people might want to settle, but I am not one of those people.

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