My dad and I have never seen things eye-to-eye. From my princess jelly shoes days to finishing the fifth grade, I think we got along fine. He was the jokester that always made me laugh, played with me, and spoiled me with candies and toys. It was right until when I entered the sixth grade when our relationship became strained and awkward. I have always struggled with math and when I went him to ask for help, instead of the help I needed, he yelled at me. He told me I was stupid, pig-brained, and that I would never succeed. My mom assured the 11 year-old snot faced me, that he was just frustrated and worried about me. From there on, whenever I had trouble with math, I would hesitantly go to him for help and every time when he lost his patience he would call me names and it would end with my mom hugging me while I cried my eyes out.
Respect is one of the key factors of an Asian household. I have grown up with relatives telling me to respect my elders. I do, I do respect everyone I meet and know until they make me lose that respect for them. Even if my dad was and is worried about me and my future, that doesn’t give him the right to degrade me until I feel like complete shit. Don’t get me wrong, I respect the way he grew up, how he lived his life, and the hard work he put into college and getting to the states to make it so his children had a good life. I’ve had a wonderful life so far and I thank him for that sincerely. I’m not saying all this so I could seem like a spoiled, unthankful brat, but instead I’ve had all these words and feelings inside of me for years and it’s time to say how I really feel. I have lost respect for him through all the crude words he’s thrown at me. In an Asian household, getting an occasional beating is not uncommon, but throwing me both the words and beatings until I’m 18 is not cool. I admit I have a fiery temper if riled up, and I can have an attitude as well. All these years, when my relationship with my dad became tense, my mom and I bonded. She taught me how to solve problems by just simply sitting down with me and talking it out. I just wish I could do that with my dad. He’s just not that type of person. He thinks the best way to resolve a problem is to yell and slam things down.
I will never be a daddy’s girl. I am much closer to my mom, because she knows me better by communicating with me in a sensible way. I love my dad all the same, but we will always have some distance between us. Even if he is family and an elder, he doesn’t deserve my respect for his behavior. He is the one person that I am legitimately afraid of, but that’s how he knows he can behave that way towards me and I can’t do anything about it. I think as long as he treats me this way when I don’t succeed the first time, I will always have my attitude to back me up. Respect should be earned, and not a given, even if you are family.
