I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately. This period right after college has really taken me back. I understand I’m no longer a kid and college had to end, but I’m not really an adult either yet. Everything is different and it seems like in a matter of moments everything changes. I honestly don’t even know why I’m sad or in this funk. And maybe that’s what is most troubling of all.

Everything, for the most part, is falling into place- I have a job and friends I can count on, and the possibility of law school in my future seems more and more likely each day. I go to the gym most days and go drinking on the weekends. I laugh with friends and family and talk about the great possibilities of my future. But the thing is I still feel lonely and empty, I just don’t feel at ‘home’ anymore.

I think everyone goes through this feeling at least once in your life. The feeling of emptiness deep inside, even though you have friends and family by your side and cheering you on. The sense of sociability you express to friends and strangers alike does not transfer to your core. Even with everything I’ve been blessed with and all the great people I have in my life, at night I feel vulnerable and by myself. I sink into an emotional ball sometimes, unsure where all this sadness is coming from.

I spend a lot of sleepless nights trying to think of ways to fix how I feel. Maybe moving to a new city and starting over. Maybe I truly have just grown out of my hometown and all my old friends. I hear all the time that your 20s are for finding ‘yourself’, but not many of those articles tell you how to do it.

I knew life wasn’t going to be easy, but I guess I didn’t prepare myself enough for all the changes to come. I just want that feeling of home again, I’m just not sure where that is at the moment.