I refused to write this for a long time because I didn't want to minimize the hurt or the pain others feel when thinking about their sexual assault or harassment experiences. This in no way, shape, or form compares to their stories. After all, all you did was tell me to smile.
You came up to me knowing full well that you’ve made me uncomfortable in the past. I was in the middle of my job, working a lunch rush, and completely stressed out. You came up to me out of nowhere and told me to smile for you. A pretty girl like me should always smile. It brings out the color in my eyes and compliments my freckles.
I tried to rationalize it by telling myself you meant well. Maybe, you just thought that I wasn't a happy person and I needed someone to give me a reason to smile. I didn't want to overreact so I laughed awkwardly, forced a smile, and moved on.
I should have told you that I don't need anyone to tell me to smile and I have hundreds of reasons to smile.
I smile because
1) The weather is beautiful.
2) I had a great cup of coffee.
3) I'm killing this semester!
4) I love my classes
5) And most of my professors.
6) I attend GCU
7) Where I met the most amazing group of friends.
8) Basketball season is back for the Havocs to make History.
9) I listen to music that speaks to me
10) And books are a great company.
11) I receive hand-written notes
12) And I get to send them, too!
13) Love speaks volumes.
14) Jesus is faithful!
15) I am not alone.
16) People around me smile, too.
17) The journey is worth it.
18) Puppies are basically the cutest.
19) Fall break is coming soon
20) And I'll get to see my family.
21) I'm greatly supported and encouraged every day.
22) A good daydream is a great escape.
23) So is my favorite movie, Dead Poets Society.
24) Also, poetry feeds my soul
25) And friends who love poems understand my obsession.
26) I have hope for my future,
27) Breakfast on my plate,
28) Dinner on the table,
29) And peanut butter as a side to every meal.
30) Despite the news, I know human beings can be kind.
31) Random acts of kindness warm my heart.
32) It's Thanksgiving and Christmas season.
33) I love gift giving!
34) I graduate in less than a month.
35) God's definitely in control.
36) My family loves me
37) And they're safe.
38) My roommates are the best
39) And one of them is engaged!
40) Fellowship keeps me sane.
41) Creation is beautiful in every way.
42) Road trips make perfect memories.
43) Cozy nights in are an introvert's dream.
44) Fuzzy socks are a great bonus.
45) My church family is wonderful
46) Embarrassing puns make me laugh.
47) Mugs are motivating
48) Writing is fulfilling.
49) I am not finished yet.
50) Pictures are worth a million words
51) But words can do miraculous things.
52) There's a fresh tub of ice cream in my freezer.
53) I've accomplished a lot on my bucket list this year.
54) I've reconnected with old friends
55) And befriended a new one.
56) I played peek-a-boo with a baby the other day.
57) I am saved by grace.
58) Rainy days are bound to happen this Christmas.
59) Tight hugs can say more than words sometimes.
60) Adventures await me.
61) I get paid soon!
62) My sister and I have long talks
63) That are sometimes about nothing.
64) I get to sleep in tomorrow
65) So, I'll probably stay up late finishing a good book.
66) People tell me that my writing means something to them.
67) God is so good!
68) Disney movies take me back to my childhood.
69) My bed is comfortable.
70) My prayers will be answered.
71) Life is full of surprises.
72 ) People believe in me!
73) Washi tape was invented.
74) And so was Chick-fil-A!
75) Food can be of great comfort!
76) Flowers are meaningful.
77) A night with no homework means watching Mer and Der fall in love again
78) And get married on a post-it note.
79) Also, love is a beautiful thing (I know I said this already, but it's worth saying twice)
80) Lazy days are fun.
81) And productive ones are empowering.
82) Sunrises and sunsets change my mood in a heartbeat.
83) 80s music makes me dance
84) And dancing is always freeing.
85) The Word of God is molding me.
86) I have a purpose.
87) Unexpected phone calls can make a bad day good.
88) Long drives in silence are soothing.
89) Shopping at Target can be an adventure.
90) Cookie dough is sometimes better raw!
91) Journals keep my favorite secrets.
92) I have free will.
93) And I choose to live intentionally!
94) The little things often turn out to be the big things.
95) Chapel is the best way to start off my week.
96) Catching up with friends means everything.
97) I woke up this morning!
98) God knows all of me.
99) And still, I am greatly loved.
100) Yes, I have hundreds of more reasons to smile.
Though you may have already noticed, none of these include you.
Sincerely,
My-Name-Is-Not-Freckles
