I Hate When People Are Upset With Me
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

I Hate When People Are Upset With Me

I have gotten into a rut of feeling bad about myself when someone I love is mad at me.

7240
I Hate When People Are Upset With Me
Personal photo

I am an obsessive people pleaser with an immobilizing fear of people being mad at me. I go physically weak and feel sick to the depths of my stomach when someone is upset with me and I feel desperate to do whatever it takes to make them happy with me again. This is a BIG problem, because it is impossible to please everyone. We all have varying views and beliefs and can't always agree and when strong emotions get involved and people start judging others without really trying to understand and empathize with their view and experience, things get real messy. One of my "strengths" is restorative, which means that I feel I have to fix all problems that arise in a relationship and restore peace and harmony as soon as possible. This seems like a good quality, and it can be, but it has turned into a negative, harmful trait for me, because I feel it too deeply. For many years I have tried hard to never upset anyone, to never disappoint their opinion of me, to never cause a wave to ripple in the water of any of my relationships, whether I had met the person recently, or known them all my life. This worked okay, most of the time, though it was rather tiring but then several people I was close to started to disagree heavily with me on my beliefs and became seriously upset and sometimes angry with me for not agreeing with them. I was heartbroken and cried many tears but I could not give in and agree to do what they pressured me to do, because it went against who I was, it didn't feel right to me, and it went against God's plan for me. I wanted desperately to make them happy with me, but I could not, though many times I was horribly tempted to give in and try to be who they wanted me to be. This people pleasing trait has caused me extreme anxiety, grief, depression, and frustration and I am beginning to fully realize, that in order to have peace, to grow in self confidence and to stop being continually anxious, I HAVE to stop trying to please people who disagree with me, even if they are very close to my heart. I have to stop feeling like I am doing something wrong or bad or that I am bad, if I don't think, act and believe like they think I should. I have to stop letting what others believe about me stir up my world and make it muddy and confusing, because if I don't, I will never be able to have a healthy love for myself. As one of my dear friends said to me recently, "I know you, you will keep trying to make everyone happy, that's how you are. But if you keep trying to make them all happy, you will lose yourself in the process. Please don't let that happen." I felt very touched by her concern, I knew she was right and I felt a new level of conviction that this is a BIG problem and that I need to put this controlling, unhealthy habit in God's hands and surrender my desire for everyone to be happy with me and agree with me. I need to remember that we are all called to live like Jesus, and Jesus did and said things that made many people upset with Him, angry with Him, even hate Him and He was never doing anything wrong. Jesus shows us that there is so much more to life than just trying to please everyone. He shows us that it is essential that we act, believe, speak and live in a way that is true to our faith, true to ourselves and that follows God's Will, and that it is not essential to make others happy with us.

From Your Site Articles
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

94959
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses
Pinterest

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

42689
​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Unleash Inspiration: 15 Relatable Disney Lyrics!

Leave it to Disney to write lyrics that kids of all ages can relate to.

70362
The 15 most inspiring Disney songs

Disney songs are some of the most relatable and inspiring songs not only because of the lovable characters who sing them, but also because of their well-written song lyrics. While some lyrics make more sense with knowledge of the movie's story line that they were written for, other Disney lyrics are very relatable and inspiring for any listener.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments