Apparently, the Kirby Lounge had been remodeled right before my first year at UMD and like the new Dining center, it feels a little rushed. There are some design decisions that don't seem to make a lot of sense, and some others that were clearly made to appeal to the tour groups you inevitably run into twice a week. I'd like to think I'm a relatively simple person, at least in the student aspect; I literally just want a place to sit, plug in my laptop, and do some homework. It would seem, then, that I'm asking too much of the study Gods when it comes to Kirby Lounge. I've compiled the following list so we can all reflect on our favorite aspects of the most popular study lounge on campus.

The God Damn Island Tables

If your first reaction to this is, "What are island tables?" let me help; you know those long tables in the middle of the room? Between the big white columns? Yeah, those tables, the ones that DESTROY YOUR KNEECAPS look really nice. Maybe the chairs are too tall maybe the tables are too low, I'm not quite sure, but every time I try to sit at these tables my knees slam right into Mr. Iron Beam, making me wonder where everything went so wrong.

GOD WHY

Where are The Outlets?

Ok, now seriously, why aren't there more power outlets? There are so many spots without outlets, tables booths, couches; places you'd expect to have electricity nearby. "Ha ha, a millennial needs his devices to function," yeah, except I actually need my laptop to survive.

I could go a maximum of 5 hours if I were to have no source of electricity, why? Because Everything is online. Assignments, schedules, textbooks, submission areas, contact information, everything. If you were to ask your teacher, "Hey, I don't have any kind of phone or computer, and-", they will cut you off and laugh in your face. And this isn't just limited to Kirby Lounge; there're tons of spots where you'd expect one, and even the obscure spots deserve some life.

So please, just give me a place to plug in, tu comprendes, amigo?

Booth Hoarders

The special booths are pretty nice, with the TVs you can plug into and control, along with lots of space to work with a group. Unfortunately, there's always that one dude who just sits there, alone, taking up the entire table. No one person needs all that booth, I mean, did you even try looking for a table? Of course, if it were empty, I'd probably take it, but still, more often than not the booths are occupied. Maybe it would help if there were more than three?

I can see that you're just on Reddit, dude

Bean Bag Chairs

There used to be bean bag chairs in the study cave known as, "The Underground" but have since disappeared almost entirely. Where did they go? Mass migration? Destroyed during a Smash party? Sold to pay off the School's outstanding debt? I'm not sure, but I miss having a giant foam-filled sack to nap in between classes. Now I just lay on the leg rests by the fireplace and ignore people that ask me to move.

So yeah, these are things that bother me and everyone else, I'm sure. I mean, there's not much to complain about, really, but there are some design decisions that make you ask, "Who thought this would work?" Could it be that it was built over the summer? Or that the school is over 20 million in debt? Not sure, but at least I don't go to school at Scholastica.