Call me Scrooge. But with the Holidays right around the corner, I can’t feel anything close to jolly. Regrettably, the holiday season has turned from thankfulness and love into jealousy and bitterness.
I know everyone has problems, some people are just really good at hiding it. I’m not one of those people. And I know it’s not uncommon to know that we often compare ourselves to others. Because “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side” and “you can compare your behind the scenes to someone else’s highlight real”. Yeah yeah…I get it. But during the holidays, I feel like it’s that much worse. So you struggle with money, maybe family issues, maybe you're not that religious. That's not that far-fetched, you're not that abnormal. But as soon as Christmas rolls around, boom. You could feel like you're the only one who’s struggling.
This year specifically has been extra hard. I notice that much more all the smiles, the presents, and the giving. And I can’t help but wonder why its so unfair; how some people can be so frivolous on their wish lists and spending habits, while others are scraping every dollar they can. How maybe we don’t notice that while we’re all seated at the dinner table with dishes of homemade food, some families are split, some are seated at home alone with microwaved soup.
I think that’s what I’m so stuck on; these differences. And its the spaces between one person’s blessings and mine that make me so bitter. But that’s what I need to remember, that it’s not the spaces that matter. Regardless of the differences, I am blessed none the less. Some days, it's really hard to wrap my head around it. I am working on it; just breathing and taking in the little things to be thankful for. I know I don’t have it bad, and some have it worse. After all, it’s what the holidays are all about.
I am very thankful. My mother has the kindest heart; my dad, the easiest person to talk to. I may not always have it all, but I sure have enough. I am able to go away to school, to study a major I love. I have beautiful opportunities, they just don't have to be the same as everyone else’s. Count your blessings and happy holidays.
