I don’t get the hype around it all. Really, I don’t.
There are some places that make you want to pound your head into a wall and then there’s Disney World. Look, I understand it’s popular, and I know it’s even been called “the greatest place on Earth,” but I have never understood just what makes this place so special. It truly is a mystery to me, which is why I have included ten reasons to support the fact that this theme park is actually THE WORST in all of human history.
1) It’s filthy.
Yeah, that seed-sized stain on the pavement didn’t think I noticed it, BUT I DID. Pretty sure the janitors don't even clean, they just draw cartoons on the sidewalk. In addition, there is a rule to have a trashcan within every 30 steps of the park (probably for puking up number 2 on this list). Disgusting, I know.
2) The food is appalling.
Churros, ice cream, corn dogs, Starbucks, and don't even get me started on that authentic Epcot food. What kind of establishment is this? Not to mention, almost every food item is guaranteed to come in some sort of Mickey form. Sickening.
3) Everyone is rude.
Workers, guests, you name it, everyone can't help but to feel irritated when stepping into this park. The mood is just so dreary. Come on Disney, how much will it take for the workers to learn a little common courtesy?
4) The background music is terrible.
Instrumental "Colors of the Wind" and "Part of Your World?" I'm too old for that, Mom.
5) The shows are average.
They call this a Broadway show? Puh-lease, this is nothing but shower-singing, and I do tricks like that on my home trampoline. Oh, and Disney should really work on their props to look a little more realistic.
6) The rides are boring.
Where's the creativity or the thrill? Step up the game, Disney, or I just might have to wander over to the enemy-- AKA Universal Studios.
7) The characters look borderline sloppy.
I was more convincing in my fourth-grade Halloween costume.
8) The parades are annoying.
With loads of numbers 4 and 7, these displays of mediocre choreography are just an embarrassment. How much more off-timing can they get? But hey, at least they're good for something-- unclogging the ride lines.
9) The hotels are basically a Motel 6.
I think the pictures speak for themselves on this one. If you even think I'm considering stealing those mini Mickey shampoos, psh, think again.
10) It just puts you in a bad mood every time you leave.
In case you haven't caught my drift yet, Disney is not so terrible after all. It is actually the most creative, kindest, and happiest place on Earth. The food is fantastic, it's clean as a whistle, the rides are a blast, the shows are enticing, and the mood is magical. So let's be honest, who isn't sad whenever they leave this wonderful fantasy?
Especially with the screaming, whining children in your ear as you leave begging to go back.
