Love (noun \ˈləv\)

1. a word that only means something if you post about it daily on social media

Wait, that’s not right… or is it?

Relationships today aren’t valid unless constantly validated. “You haven’t posted a status about you and your boyfriend in two days. Are you still together?” “He hardly ever publishes a photo of her on Instagram. I bet they broke up.”

Social media love is not real love, but it’s the definition that is becoming widely accepted. We are testing how genuine, how happy, relationships are by how often we see them on our news feeds. Of course this is wrong, and of course it is a problem. But, there is a bigger problem as a result: We are killing our own relationships every time we compare our happiness to that of others.

"The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else's highlight reel." -Steven Furtick

It has become commonplace, with the all-consuming nature of social media, to see every highlight of other people’s lives. Let’s face it, ALL we see are highlights. Do you see many photos of couples crying right after fights? No, people typically don’t share those moments.

Our human nature motivates us to make sure we appear to be 100% perfect, 100% of the time. We definitely don’t want other people to see the real, nitty-gritty of our lives, do we? Eek. Inconceivable!

If we were always honest online, though, if we really exposed the realities of our relationships, we would have to hashtag a lot more than #love #cute #happy #perfect.

We would, instead, have to hashtag #fights #tears #hardday #imperfect… but that doesn’t look as good, so we better not.

I am afraid of what social media will do to love. We spend more time letting our jealousy of other relationships control our minds than we do focusing on the goodness of our own. Highlight reels of other people are taking over and we are forgetting that everyone has behind-the-scenes and they are not glamorous.

I am worried that couples will soon forget to put the phone down and enjoy time with each other. Anniversaries will be spent trying to capture the perfect Instagram picture, and love will become a competition between you and the “perfect” couple you recently read about online. When we spend so much time admiring the relationships of other people, we are slowly destroying, chipping away at, our own.

Put down your phone. Vow not to spend your date night dreaming about the best selfie you can take and instead spend it soaking in every minute of time together. Stop worrying about how your relationship is measuring up to others, because you know something? Love isn’t something we can measure.

In fact, trying to measure love diminishes how incredible it can be and how much it is worth.

So, new definition:

Love (noun \ˈləv\)

1. More than pictures and status updates

2. A feeling shared by two people who care deeply for each other

3. Imperfect