I believe in the quality of my education. I am convinced that eventually my Harvard degree will give me an expanse of opportunities I would not be offered otherwise. However, undergraduate study here isn’t all Zuckerberg-worthy creations and activism characteristic of future presidential candidates.

Surrounded by so-called "over-achievers" takes its toll. Even, and perhaps more so, if you consider yourself one of them. I'm not saying we don't love Harvard, because we do; it is truly a remarkable place and we wouldn't be here if we didn't. But, we have to acknowledge its imperfections.

Here, I present my (totally both scientific and factual) theory via poetry aka: The Harvard Effect.

Spotted: hyperventilating after misunderstanding a single p-set question

unfortunately stuck in Lamont with other drowning souls

looking at textbooks through water filled eyes

on the verge of a downpour

contained with various forms of heart-racing caffeine

stifling their crowning glory of deprivation

they who

can’t remember what a good night sleep feels like

they who

think expectations have to be met even if you can’t breathe the atmosphere at their height

they who

think bags under their bloodshot eyes are signs of courage and determination

they who

think the fact their tongue is no longer burned from hot coffee means their tolerance is one of admiration

when did exhaustion become an achievement

when did mental health start coming second to a transcript

tucked underneath study guides for no one to see or talk about

because no one wants to hear about the panic attack

induced by the pressure of desperately desiring greatness

They look for the grade, the judgment, the evaluation

and determine their worth accordingly.

They are among the affected.

I give you: The Harvard Effect

I have a theory that there is a scientifically figurative force

stronger than gravity, but quieter than light

powerful like a metaphor, but intangible as ideas

it pushes us to the edges of our own personal insanity

while uniting us in our universal acceptance of the "good enough"

more specifically that we can never reach it

but decide to place it anyway

this force is set by standards

dictating its path and direction

No — our path and direction

the standard of calendar states

you are not busy enough if you have time to breathe

if you have time to breath, you are doing something wrong

in practice we are manipulated into schedules filled higher than our levels of sleep deprivation

and yet still feel "the effect" if we have a day of unproductivity

the standard of accomplishments states

that your resume should always take precedence over your soul

that if you ever switch the two, you are doing something wrong

in practice, we are told to give up loves and passions for what we can do for a dollar amount

take classes that fit requirements whether we like them or not

and God forbid we enroll in something for shits and giggles

because we cannot find someone laughing with us

we cannot find someone to support our laughter

the standard of "good enough"

is both personal and universal

it is the filter

the armor

the lens

we filter our lives in order to project

"Harvard students—the best and brightest"

that’s

us

we put on armor because emotions are distinctly not "good enough" for that filtered image

we look through a lens that shows our peers as different than us

we fail to recognize our similar struggles

because talking about struggling is

filtered out, is

hidden under armor, is

invisible through the lens

I give you my filter because I’m tired of editing my life like an image

I give you my armor because I am proud to feel emotions

I am proud to feel too many, and conflicting, and confusing emotions

it is proof I am indeed imperfectly human

I give you my lens because I don’t want to see anymore edited perfection

I’d rather see the struggle.

I am struggling.

I do not feel "good enough".

I am affected.

I am choosing to admit

I am choosing to notice.

there is no cure for the Harvard Effect

like you can’t cure a sound wave once it leaves someone’s lips

no matter how much that exit may hurt the ears to which it lands

you have to hear it as you would feel the ground after jumping because gravity is inescapable

you will hear

but that doesn’t mean you can’t listen

and help

and speak

and admit

and notice

Notice the standards

and how they are failures

but you are not

You are affected

in one way or another

You are—at the same time—

good enough

great enough

You are—simply—

just great