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The Difficulties Of Being A Straight White Male In Comedy

We all knew doomsday was coming.

Jared Grumney

Sep 18, 2019

The Ohio State University

The Difficulties Of Being A Straight White Male In Comedy

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Comedy is one of the most unifying things in the world. When everyone gets a joke, we share a laugh, form bonds, and feel better. However, it is open season for straight white male (SWM) comedians. I got exclusive quotes from men in the top of their field (or it might have just been a guy in a band t-shirt with a flannel over top). Take it easy. They are going through a rough time.

"What do you MEAN I can't make fun of minorites??"

PC culture really is ruining everything. Back in the day, he used to get a laugh from slurs, and now he can't even say the n-word anymore? Preposterous.

"You mean I have to write new jokes? Ugh."

The Small-Dick Asian joke always killed! The Black Face Bit always got a huge roar from the crowd! The Gay Impressions made them feel better about their masculinity! How can he ever get better than that?

"Life has never been harder for us, and that is saying something."

For centuries, the SWM has always been on the bottom of the totem pole: reverse racism, getting told they have "white privilege," being afraid to wear their KKK costumes out in public. But kicking him while he is down? Unforgivable. Think about the person behind the hood next time you wanna talk down to him.

"I live in constant fear of being canceled."

He didn't get fired for telling Shelia she'd look better without a bra. He didn't get fired for tweeting at Drake: "I appreciate your work ethic. Normally you guys don't get this much done." Hell, he didn't even get a stern talking to when he asked Li where the best place to get "nerders" is. But now, saying one wrong thing could ruin his life. How DARE the SJW's be so up on making sure he stays in check!

"I am supposed to push boundaries."

This part was the hardest to write. He was telling me the most crestfallen story about how he broke through the glass ceiling to allow women the privilege of being funny. He opened the door for so many SWM to come after him. Now he gets fired from his job for doing the exact same thing? Disgraceful. If we are so into equality and feminism nowadays, how come he can't hit women back? Huh? How come he can't call his gay friend a f*****?

You heard it here first, folks. Stop being such a snowflake, and let SWM comedians get back to getting away with saying and doing horrible things, ok? It's been that way for so long. No need to change things now.

Follow Jared on all social medias @jaygrum for more content.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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25 Beatles Lyrics: Your Go-To Guide for Every Situation

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Recommended for you

The Difficulties Of Being A Straight White Male In Comedy

We all knew doomsday was coming.

"What do you MEAN I can't make fun of minorites??"

"You mean I have to write new jokes? Ugh."

"Life has never been harder for us, and that is saying something."

"I live in constant fear of being canceled."

"I am supposed to push boundaries."

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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