As I get a little bit older every day I think about how people react to different situations. And one concept that has been weighing on my mind lately is how ineffective holding grudges actually is in terms of mental health. Holding a grudge against someone for a long period of time may seem like an effortless solution right after an incident occurs, or even weeks later, but ultimately you have to look at how harboring that animosity affects yourself as a person. When I think about how my body reacts to a person who I am feeling negatively towards I notice the following things:

1.) I'm stressed out. My body feels tensed and unrelaxed. My body goes into defense mode, and this increases my stress levels.

2.) I become angered or upset. How silly is that? Just the mere thought of a person or an incident makes me feel mad even if the person is not around.

3.) I feel irrational. It is hard for me to see the bigger picture, or other people's perspectives. This gives the situation a zero percent chance of resolution when one or both parties are holding grudges against each other.

All of this energy is being wasted on animosity and anger, and the most freeing solution of all seems so far away from you when you are holding onto hate. That solution is let it go (cue Frozen soundtrack). Stop wasting time and energy on being angry. Stop raising your stress levels and blood pressure on something that happened in the past. Whether or not you resolve things with that person(s) you deserve to relax and stop harboring all of that angst. Sometimes it is difficult to let things go, but imagine how liberating that would feel. You do not have to let anger from an incident resurface every time you think of that person or that incident. Remember that you cannot control how other people react to you, but you most certainly can control how you react to the entire situation.