Harambe, Hennessy, and McMullin: The Vacuous Votes of 2016
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Harambe, Hennessy, and McMullin: The Vacuous Votes of 2016

Really, America?

82
Harambe, Hennessy, and McMullin: The Vacuous Votes of 2016
Huffington Post

Every election year, there are thousands of votes for unqualified "candidates" for the position of United States President and Vice President. Historically speaking, things such as write-in votes have contributed to some of the most important events in our country. In the past, the presidential primary was won by important figures such as Herbert Hoover, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Robert A. Taft, Richard Nixon, and John F. Kennedy: all of whom were write-ins. More often than not nowadays, the notion of a write-in candidate is anything but serious. Today, we look at some of the most popular names of the year.

1. Harambe

The award for the most popular write-in name on this year's ballot goes to Harambe. Yes, the very one that made international news over six months ago. In May of 2016, a three-year-old boy climbed into the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden, and was grabbed by Harambe, the seventeen-year-old inhabitant of the enclosure. A park worker, fearing for the child's life, shot and killed the Western lowand gorilla. The incident was caught on camera, and sparked international news coverage and commentary regarding the ethics of the decision as well as the need for better standards of care. It was reported that the deceased primate received around 11,000 votes for President.

2. Hennessy

In case you were wondering, the liquor reportedly received around 6,000 votes.

3. Evan McMullin

While Mr. McMullin may have been a very good candidate for the election, because he was not registered, the surprising 1,200+ votes he received did not count.

4. Donald Trump

Although Trump wasn't a write-in (unfortunately), I had to include him in this list, because, seriously, America? This is the guy you picked?

5. Giant Meteor: "Just End it Already"

Somewhere in the past eighteen months since the candidates for President of the United States were announced, the campaign for a meteor began, and thousands of people willed it to collide with Earth and end the world before we had to choose one of these buffoons to run our country. When asked about the slogan, Preston Whited, the mastermind behind the plan, simply responded "[w]e're all part of one big global team of meme-making".


Unfortunately, the meteor did not collide, and we are left with the sad and terrifying remains of our once-great country. Good luck.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

54370
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

34991
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

957293
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

183063
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments