With trends like “bae goals” (not to be confused with bagels, unfortunately) and “relationship goals” consistently flooding the time line of any one between the ages of 13-25, it’s no wonder people are seeking out that special someone. Every day, I see posts like “my better half” or “my number one.” I am happy for those people; I am happy that they have someone to love and to love them. But why, in today’s society, are people like me constantly shamed for not having that “bae?” After 19 years on this world, I think I finally figured it out.
The real reason I am looked down upon for not wanting or having a relationship is because society has told us that in order to be happy, we must have another person to make us happy. I don’t think that statement or perspective is necessarily true.
I am happy. I’m a 19 year old woman with a loving family, amazing friends, the best sorority sisters a girl could ask for, an adorable dog, and so many other things to not only be thankful for but that make me happy on an everyday basis. I do not have a guy in my life that needs to talk to me every day, send me cute kissy face emoticons or leave random “surprise” gifts on my doorstep to make me happy. (Sidenote: If you have these things I am happy for you. Everyone deserves to be treasured.) The difference is, I don’t NEED these things. I don’t need a boy to make me happy. My happiness does not depend on another person.
It makes me sad when I see other people so dependent on another person for their own happiness. I do not need someone to be my “better half” and here’s why: a wise person once told me that happiness is a choice. It’s a choice I make every day. Let’s get real for a second, everyone has bad days (mine usually occur when my hair is a mess). But overall, I am a happy person.
Here are some things that make me happy: traveling, fitting into a pair of jeans that just got taken out of the dryer, girls' night in, acing a test I studied for, getting bear hugs from my mom after traveling 5 long hours to get home for break, puppies, volunteering with children, watching my best friends accomplish everything they wanted, the list goes on and on.
I am young. And I am growing. I do not need someone else to help me grow. I did the whole “soul-searching” thing (heck I even got bangs) to find out who I really am as a person. And I realized that I am happy with myself because of where I have been and who I have become. Life is a journey, not a destination. Sometimes it’s nice to journey along with other people (a la all the “bae goals”) but it’s not a necessity to find happiness. There is so much more to life than a relationship. I want other people and society to realize that.
Don’t get me wrong, love is amazing. But there are so many different types of love. Fall in love with a foreign city, love your friends, feel the warmth of your mother’s love, get butterflies over a work of art, but most importantly fall in love with who you are. Because that person that stares back at you in the mirror will be with you until the day you die. So create that person in a way that will make you happy and the rest should fall into place. The only "person" you should depend on for happiness is yourself.
