When the emotions you hold so dear to yourself are not reciprocated and left unseen by the world, you are disappointed, you feel foolish because you were too gullible. The rest of the days are spent brainstorming and trying to find a solution to this miserable soul inside of you. When you wake up in the morning, instead of first putting on some clothes, you put on a facade of protection, a facade of joy, a facade of indifference because you feel a need to blend in, blend in to a society that teaches you to be compassionate but does not practice what it preaches.
Now, I can proceed to blame it all on society and complain about how it is not what it seems to be or I can try to change how I look at it. This change can be quite simple and does not need to be revolutionary. However, as effortless as it may sound, it is one of the most challenging tasks known to man and that is channeling what you wish to see in the society towards yourself. In simple terms, changing yourself before you wish to see transformation around you. If you wish to see more compassion out there, you need to discover compassion in yourself or in simple terms you have to ‘love yourself’.
Although I have probably heard this a million times throughout my life, it is very recently that I have actually realized and started practicing the value of ‘self love’. Once this is brought to practice, the results that follow are revitalizing and transformative. Yes, those are some big words and that is because the change it brings about, influences your life and mental health greatly. As humans, we are constantly seeking acceptance and validation from others as a fuel to our happiness. When the fuel left in you runs out, the happiness level starts to drain and so does your mental health. Validation and reciprocation become drugs that you become addicted to and when those are out of reach, withdrawal symptoms take over your emotions, your overall well-being.
True happiness, as they call it comes from within, it is not something external. ‘Internal happiness’ here, can be seen as a synonym for self-love, a synonym for self-respect. Whenever one is disappointed or angry or even happy, the cause of it should be identified, the cause should not be something that comes from the outside but something that arises from the inside.
I have mentioned this before in some other writings of mine, that just because I write about or preach about something, does not necessarily mean I have got it all figured out. I am just like you who is constantly experiencing something new and realizing something that I feel the need to share. The way I am trying to practice what I believe in is by diligently reminding myself whenever someone inflicts pain upon me that if I am feeling the way I am feeling, it is because I let it happen, I let the person or experience have an effect on me and that power should reside in your hands and no one else’s.
Self-love, as I would like to interpret it, is holding yourself accountable for your own feelings and making yourself independent both emotionally and mentally. Amidst all the reminders that we set for ourselves, we should set one that makes us realize that there is no other person in this world who has the potential to love you as much as you can love yourself and probably at the end of the day that’s all that you might need.
