You cannot help others unless you help yourself first. It is simply how life works. If you are damaged, you aren’t giving your all to the people you care about.

Do you ever find yourself wondering, especially in the late hours of the night when you’re lying restlessly in bed, whether or not you’re happy with yourself? With your life? Happiness means something different to everyone. I strongly believe that I have molded my definition of it to fit whatever point I’m at in life. Ignorance definitely is bliss, because who wants to deal with the fact that they have a problem? Sometimes I don’t realize that there’s a problem until it smacks me in the face three times.

For instance, I have a problem putting myself first. I am constantly concerned for others, and always trying to help people, even if it involves me getting in too deep. Occasionally I wonder if it’s a quality due to an innate desire to gossip, but I’m mostly convinced that what I feel is legitimate concern. I try to tell myself that by making others happy and working to satisfy them, I am making myself happy. For some people, donating their time, minds and relentless efforts of care to others is therapeutic and beneficial to them. I have discovered, however, that sometimes it can be incredibly detrimental to oneself.

You cannot help others unless you help yourself first. It is simply how life works. If you are damaged, you aren’t giving your all to the people you care about. You can try your hardest, but it isn’t all of you. The worst part about it is the fact that you can become aware of this problem and still not be able to deal with your issues at hand. Sometimes that’s all that life hands you. It’s difficult to put yourself first, even more so than putting others first. Caring about others is easy; evaluating the life of another person distracts you from your own issues. You can focus on their dilemmas, and by default are pushing away dealing with your own.

Let me tell you why that isn’t healthy. Your emotional, mental and physical health are more important than your efforts to aid other people. Helping others may prevent you from spiraling downward, but it can also be the cause of a whirlwind of emotions. It’s important to realize your limits and take care of yourself. It's also important that you realize that you don’t have to do that by yourself: realizing you are loved and cared for by others is a step towards a long road of making yourself happy.

I didn’t realize I wasn’t happy until someone helped point it out to me. I didn’t realize that I was putting myself through a lot, without even thinking much about how I felt about any of it. That’s not how you handle life. You handle life by facing your problems head on, no matter how scary or uncomfortable they are. The longer they sit there, the more they grow. The bigger your problems are, the more detrimental they’ll be to you. You can’t make other people happy unless you make yourself happy first.

If you really are so adamant about helping others, let working on yourself be your inspiration. You can show people how you reached that moment of clarity where you realized you could smile, and that your smile felt right. Sometimes, the best way you can help others, and yourself, is by making yourself happy. Happiness can be the strongest medicine there is, as long as you don't forget to take your own dose.