Every New Year’s Eve I say to myself, and to those around me, “This has been the worst year ever. Next year will be better!” And, it isn’t. Next year is usually equally as bad as or worse than the year before it. Bad things happen all too often. I sometimes think that it’s just me, but it isn’t. Bad things happen for many people, every year, on a regular basis. This year bad things happened on a global scale; they happened at home; they happened to our icons; they affected our lives and still do today.

And, still, I have hope at the end of every year that the next will bring about the positive change that I’ve been hoping for all along. It might. There’s no cosmic ruler saying, “No. No, Jessica, your year will be terrible. Just suck it up.” I understand that the likelihood of a perfect year is really not all that likely. I’m a realist and an idealist all mixed up together inside of the body of an ambivert.

But, while I have my bad days and I do my fair share of complaining, I am at my core a happy person. There are days where I don’t want to leave my bed. Sometimes I want to eat ice cream for all three meals. Sometimes I’m overcome by a huge bout of anxiety. These things, though, are a normal part of my life. We all have our bad days. We all become overwhelmed. Mine might be more extreme from time to time, or maybe not. I cannot assess anyone else’s problems. I don’t have the proper credentials for that sort of thing.

Here’s what I do know. Life is a series of events. Some of those events are devastating. But, some are not. It’s those small moments that we must hang on to. They keep us going. They keep us sane. Even if your day to day life is terrible, there’s always something about your life that is not. These things do not need to be large. They don’t need to alter the course of your life, or even your day. They might be small victories.

The Tiniest Victories

“I didn’t leave my lunch on the counter at home. I don’t have to eat a gross gas station sandwich instead! Score.”
“I graded all of those papers without sustaining a paper cut!”
“I found $5 in my coat pocket.”

The Regular Victories

“My dog loves me.”
“My cat loves itself, but it’s nice to look at.”
“I get to sleep in a warm bed tonight.”
“The sun came out today.”

The Big Victories

“I landed a good job!”
“I was promoted.”
“I’m in love.”

While not everyone will share my victories, everyone will have victories. It’s the paying attention to them that is the problem. We don’t always recognize the positive experiences in our lives. We sometimes take them for granted. It is in our nature to pay more attention to the negative than the positive. I always use the same example when I try to explain this to others.

Think about driving. Now, think about being cut off. How do you feel? Angry? Annoyed? What do you dwell on when you get to work? What was the most memorable part of your drive? It was getting cut off. But, if you look at it from another perspective, you can see that one of the hundreds of drivers on the road cut you off. The other ninety-nine did not. Why don’t we pay attention to that instead?

I think that they key to being a happier person is to truly take our positive experiences to heart, but we have to recognize and acknowledge them first. Know and understand that there is something good in your life. It makes all the difference.