I tried killing myself.

While I was in school, I was bullied. Being bullied changes who you are deep down as a person.

In sixth grade, a group of girls would follow me around relentlessly all recess and they wouldn't go away no matter what. One day I was crying my eyes out saying “this is why I want to kill myself."

I was twelve.

Twelve.

In seventh and eighth grade I would be followed by groups of girls and hear people whispering in class that there was going to be a fight. I knew it would not be a fight but rather it would just be me getting hit. Every day it was something else, but it was never something new. It made me so paranoid constantly feeling like I was going to be attacked every time I went somewhere. I would go to the mall and look over my shoulder and be panicked the entire time. I couldn’t go anywhere and my mom noticed. She tried everything she could. She told the school every time something happened, yet just like Hannah’s school, they claimed nothing was happening.

In sixth grade, a girl put someone else's Uggs in my gym locker and everyone's bag had been searched. Of course, the Uggs were found in my bag where they had been placed to get me in trouble. I was made fun of for stealing.

In eighth grade, I got hit by a girl outside and it was all recorded by the school's cameras, but we were unable to see the video without a warrant. The school denied everything. Again, while I was in eighth grade, a girl accused me of stealing her iPod. A cop that worked at the school told me that if I just gave it back I wouldn’t be in trouble. What happened to innocent until proven guilty? No, I was the girl who everyone hated so of course, I did it.

In eighth grade, I got asked out by a boy who then proceeded to laugh in my face when I said "yes". He told me I wasn't pretty or popular enough to go out with because I was a loser.

What had I done to deserve this?

I stayed inside every day that I could. I started hiding out in the library, but then they cut funding and I had to find safety elsewhere. I tried the special ed teacher's room but she wasn’t always there. She encouraged me to go outside and make friends but instead, I went to the nurse's office. I became very close with the nurse. She knew what was going on and would let me stay there as long as I needed to. I went to the counselors for help frequently during school but they weren't any help. Just like when Tyler goes to the counselor, they asked me what I was doing to them to cause them to make them want to hurt me.

This is victim blaming.

Is this the message you want to give to your students, West Deptford--that it’s the victim fault?

In ninth grade, my one and only friend, Heather punched me in a locker room because other people had claimed that I was talking about her. I hated school. I faked sick every day and tried to stay home. I would cry every morning because I never knew what hell I had waiting for me at school. After hitting me Heather was constantly waiting for me and I had to plan where to go to try to avoid her. If she saw me in the halls, she would come walking towards me ready to hit me again. She eventually threatened to beat me up with a baseball bat. We reported it to my school and they still claimed that there was no bullying occurring.

SEE ALSO: http://www.theodysseyonline.com/thirteen-important-overlooked-quotes-from-thirteen-reasons-why

If that’s not bullying, West Deptford, then what is?

That’s when my mom pulled me out of school. Throughout all of these years, since sixth grade, rumors that I was pregnant were going around. This caused an eating disorder that I still struggle with, wondering if people will laugh at me because they think I’m fat.

Being told that you're going to get hit where ever you go or feeling that someone wants to hurt you whenever you go... that stays with you. I went to a carnival the other day and I was so jumpy that the person I was with even mentioned it and asked if I was okay.

While I was in school going through all of this, I hurt myself every single day. I didn’t know any other way to get through it. I wanted to die, but couldn’t bring myself to hurt my family like that.

Then one day tried to kill myself, I didn’t succeed obviously, and I am so thankful for that because life truly does get better. It's such a cliché thing to say but life gets so much better after high school. Just hold on a little bit longer.

Not everyone is lucky enough to make it though. Words hurt. Be careful what you say to others because sometimes it truly is the difference between life and death. If you’re being bullied, reach out to someone, anyone. If you know that someone is being bullied, speak up. Don’t be a bystander because you never know if you could be saving their life.