In college, we talk a lot about rape. It’s bad; we recognize that. Something needs to change. How often, though, do we as a society discuss sexual harassment at a younger age? Bullying is just about the least taboo topic in middle schools, but there’s an issue that many kids face that goes beyond bullying. Sexual harassment and assault in K-12 schools are very prevalent, but it seems like an issue that administrators are ill-equip to handle. One Baltimore mother is vying for change.
When Rebecca’s daughter Hailie came home last Tuesday evening, she told her mother something that would change both of their lives forever. The courageous little girl confessed to her mom that a boy at school had been inappropriately touching her and that many of her friends were experiencing similar situations. At this point, most people would probably think that with many young girls experiencing sexual harassment at school, something would be done to fix it; however, that was not the case. The boy’s mother didn’t want to hear about Rebecca’s suggestions that her son go to counseling or stay home from school for a few days as punishment. Rebecca says that the only person at her daughter’s school who has been helpful during this process is the school police officer. That leaves the question: Where's the school’s administration during all of this?
I asked Rebecca if any school officials from her daughter’s school have reached out to her or offered support of any kind, and she said no. Teachers from elsewhere in the county and beyond have reached out a hand, but while their kindness is appreciated, it still leaves her daughter at a school with little help from her administration.
Rebecca has been to Hailie’s school several times, yet each time, she’s faced with similar roadblocks. The principle is apparently rarely there, and when he is, he allegedly tries to downplay the situation. When Rebecca tried to meet with the assistant principle, he seemed to be unaware of the proper policy until Rebecca pulled out handbooks and showed him. Once the assistant principal agreed with her, she called him out for not doing his job; “who’s protecting my daughter,” she asked. She never got an answer.
As far as legal action goes, help stops at “these things take time.” Rebecca is unsatisfied with this, commenting on how “meanwhile, my daughter’s walking around with his boy right there.” Justice is not something for which a victim should have to wait long. The boy is a minor, so not much information can be released about him, but Rebecca has been told that the law has “been enforced.” With the boy still walking the same halls as Hailie, though, I have my doubts about that.
Rebecca has begun a movement called “Hands off, don’t touch.” She and several others have begun the fight for justice. Since the school system won’t help her, Rebecca isn’t hesitating to go above their heads. “Hands off, don’t touch, is bigger than sexual assault,” Rebecca says, “There’s no respect for boundaries. There’s no respect.”
Rebecca has begun leading a series of lawful protests by her daughter’s middle school. While she and her fellow protesters have remained peaceful, the same cannot be said about the middle school students. During one of her protests, a group of boys yelled out of some school doors to the protesters, saying that they should kill themselves, threatening that they would kill them, screaming vulgarities. Rebecca was appalled at the lack of discipline by teachers and wondered how, in the middle of the day, those boys were getting away with that. When she tried to enter the school to address it, though, the administrators would not permit her to come in.
Despite receiving hurtful backlash herself from students, Rebecca says that thankfully, her daughter has not suffered any bullying as a result of her mom speaking out. Peers had apparently shown their support and surprisingly have also begun reaching out to Rebecca for help. “Kids were coming up in groups saying this happened to me, and no one did anything,” Rebecca recalls, “They wanted somebody to talk to.” Rebecca, although willing to fight this fight, does encourage other parents to get involved, “These kids were thirsty for someone to stand up and defend them,” and as middle schoolers, that responsibility, if neglected by administrators, falls on the parents. As for children who are afraid to speak out, Rebecca says, “Never back down. If someone doesn’t help you, find someone who will…the moment you find one person, you’re not alone.” “Hands off, don’t touch” gives people that opportunity to stand up and know that they aren’t alone.
Many people have already reached out to Rebecca. When she first learned about what her daughter had been going through and began meeting with administration, her daughter told her that other little girls wanted to speak to her as well. This was the point Rebecca realized this was an issue much bigger than just her daughter, “Hailie has to be heard; other girls have to be heard.”
The magnitude of this situation was surprising; when Rebecca started speaking out for her daughter, she had no idea it would get this big. The movement has even reached Germany. “It’s more than just my daughter; it requires more change.” She’s not backing down, though; “It can't stop, so I have to go with it.”
So, what is the ultimate goal? Rebecca and many others want the policies changed. The verbiage is what’s holding them back. Members of “Hands off, don’t touch,” have begun reaching out to councilmen, and Rebecca wants others to join the fight. The only way we will see change is if we raise our voices. She wants people of all ages to look up the policies, send it to their officials; raise awareness; “this is nationwide now…I was mad and on a rant and it touched people’s hearts.”
It’s important to remember that the ultimate goal is not to ruin some little boy’s life. Rebecca insists that the protests need to remain peaceful and that people who do this need help; they don’t need to be attacked. “They’re crying out for help to find the avenues so they can get the help they need,” and Rebecca recognizes that “one mother’s crying out; the whole nation’s screaming.”
People who have joined the “Hands off, don’t touch” revolution have tried reaching out to officials at Hailie’s school, sending heartfelt emails and persuasive phone calls, asking for justice for Hailie, but all they are all sent the same thing in reply, a message that states, “we can assure you that if both sides were heard, you’d understand that this was handled properly.”
Can we, as a society, live with that, though? Is this a proper way to handle a middle school girl’s case as a victim of sexual assault by another student? I’m more than doubtful of that.
When I asked Rebecca is she was planning on taking her daughter to a different school, she stood strong; “that’s not an option; we don’t run.”
The original video
Facebook group
