The last few weeks for me have been some of the hardest. Reasons include a breakup, a pick up in work, and the looming stress that accompanies every semester. As the stress began to load I began to feel overwhelmed. I felt like every day was a race to get off of work or finish the tasks I needed to do so that I could rush to my room and cry. I just wanted to be stable. I just wanted to feel control again. I wanted to feel empowered again. I was tired of feeling like life was happening to me.
This isn't some quick fix scheme on how to suddenly go from self-loathing to amazingly confident in ten days. To be honest I don't even think there's a one size fits all plan that could support the needs of people when trying to cope with a lot of changing things at one time. This is just what I did so that I no longer felt like every day was a race and every night was an escape.
The first thing I did was take ownership. I took ownership of my life. When life is dishing out L's it's so easy to take on victimhood as a role. I didn't want to get stuck feeling like this because normally I'm self-assured, stable, and committed. I didn't blame myself for the unfortunate events but rather reflected and looked at how I too played a role in everything going in my life.
Next, I found my safe place and retreated to it daily. This safe place is different for everyone. For me, it's usually in the shower accompanied by gospel music. For me, God is my refuge and so in order to feel safe and whole again, I needed to spend time here in solitude often.
Next, you should challenge yourself to rethink your embarrassment or fear. Often when we are face to face with the blunders of life many of us will opt to hide it because we've convinced ourselves that we have to maintain an image of always having it together. None of us have control except for our reactions so the sooner we normalize our fears the betters.
Last, but definitely, not least I was honest with myself and others in my life. I told the people in my life what I wanted and what I would not stand. These dealbreakers are different for everyone but it's so critical you communicate to others what you need from them, what you need from yourself, and lastly that you hold yourself and others accountable to these rules so that you get what you need.
