I had the fortune to live in a dorm that allowed me to have three roommates. Throughout our freshman year, I have watched one relationship die, one grow stronger, and another find love. All three relationships are long distance based. The true question is, “Can high school sweethearts last the long distance?”
The Relationship That Died:
My first roommate came to school with a boyfriend of over five months. They were best friends, and they were crazy for each other. But then college kind of kicked in. He got busy with his schedule, and she got busy with her’s. The main problem that floated to the surface was that their schedules did not add up. When he wanted to talk, she could not. When she wanted to talk, he could not.
Communication is what will make or break a relationship, in my opinion.
Their love was never broken, but the flame fizzled out. Neither of them had time to express or really be a part of each other's everyday lives. When they decided to break up, I could hear the absolute heartbreak in both voices. What was so beautiful about their ending was how they each knew that letting each other go was going to make the other better. They both had each other's best interest at heart.
That is why letting a love go is so hard. We love them and want to keep them for ourselves, but ultimately we have to let them go so they can thrive and become their best selves.
The Relationship That Grew:
A distance relationship takes a lot to survive. From what I have observed over the course of these two semesters, I have found these four to be the most important for this particular couple: patience, giving and Sacrifice understanding, and forgiveness. Patience is for when the times get rough. When you have not seen your love for a long period of time, you begin to grow quick and short tempered.
Giving and Sacrifice may be what I noticed the most. Long distance calls for a lot a giving, and not a lot of receiving. It is hard to give and give and not see the rewards, or get anything in return. That’s why sacrifice is grouped in with giving. You will have to sacrifice time, and maybe opportunities.
Understanding is for when your other grows ill, or has certain concerns. If they do not like someone you have been hanging with, or maybe they do not like something you have been doing, hear them out. It is not their fault that their mind is questioning it. They are not here to see it for themselves. Forgiveness is for when you or your other screws up. Y’all are not with each other to make up, so you may find it harder to forgive.
The Relationship That Was Born:
Starting a relationship while already distant has different praises and challenges. Starting with distance means as a couple, y’all do not know what it is like to be together. Your entire relationship is built on a distance foundation. Challenges include having to spend that “honeymoon phase” apart. What is beautiful about having this distance built into the relationship, is that you truly get to fall for the person. You are not distracted by the physical aspects of dating. You are with that person because you love who they are.
Trust is what drives this love. A new relationship can scare easy, and crumble. Without being so invested, it is easy to give up when times get a little bumpy. But trust makes the bond stronger. To trust someone who is not right by your side has some complex power to it. It is all about the person, and not about anything else.
We live in such a digital and photoshop world. To be crazy for someone for just being them is rare. Once you find it, fight to keep it. I promise it is worth it. I see the way my roommate smiles when she talks about him. Everybody deserves to smile that helplessly over someone.
Each couple is different. Not every single high school couple is going to make it through the first year. But if you do, man your love is going to be so strong and deep.
Thrive on,
Lily
