Preface: Now you may be thinking after reading this title “What the heck”, or maybe something a little more profane than that. To just give you an idea of where this idea came from, I’ll start by saying this; one of my dream jobs is to work for Buzzfeed, and to work at a company like Buzzfeed you have to be a) creative and b) kind of weird, so just in case one day out of the blue they contact me and want to give me a job, I have an elaborate list of things I would produce and/or write about. This idea was one of them, but because I do not yet work for Buzzfeed, I figured I might as well test out some of my ideas now.
Procedure: Initially I was going to handcuff myself to my mom for a week, and then I decided that was too long, so opted for three days, and after thinking further I decided that 24 hours would definitely suffice. The next step was figuring out where to get handcuffs from, and luckily for me its 2015 and you can find literally anything on the internet for a reasonable price. So, some Amazon shopping later I came out $8.00 shorter, with police grade, stainless steel handcuffs. This was the easy part. The hard part was getting the nerve to sneak attack my mom and get the handcuffs onto her wrist quickly enough for her not to oppose to the idea, because she can be quite scary despite her 5’2’’ frame. In the long run though I just ended up whipping out the handcuffs and snapping on her wrist before she could even comprehend what was going on.
Experience: After the 24 hours was over, I realized that my day being handcuffed to my mother was relatively uneventful, despite the million questions and weird looks we got from passerbyers. I thought something crazy was going to happen when I thought this plan out ahead of time, like maybe we would get arrested for operating a vehicle while handcuffed together (which we did do, and I’m pretty sure is probably against some law),
or maybe like we would conveniently be walking past a bank as a robber was running out with a sack of money, and we would both be quick enough to stop him and use the chain from our handcuffs to choke him out like you see in some movies. Sadly, none of this stuff happened, but what did happen was pleasant too. We pretty much just ended up going shopping together,
going to the gym together (where we were asked to model for the new buddy-fittness program they were about to instate, and eating dinner. The only rough part of the day was going to sleep, but that was expected considering I knew ahead of time it would be impossible to get comfortable.
In the long run the only thing I took out of this experience was that it’s important to set aside some time for family and take a day to stop working or partying or doing whatever you consistently do to just hang out with your loved ones. I had a really fun day with my mommy and cant wait for more to come… but next time without the handcuffs.
