Halloween comes only once a year and that really is a shame. I would love it if lasted longer so I've invented a game.

Every day in October I've thought up a joke to share with everyone. Some are funny, some are corny, most of them are actually just a Halloween pun.

I can take credit for all except maybe one. If you're been following me on Snapchat (@davildaran), you've already been included in all of the fun!

Thirty-one jokes are here that I present for my favorite time of the year. Laugh and enjoy, for the night is drawing near where we celebrate spreading fear!

1. People ask me, “Do you come up with these jokes by yourself?” No, I hire a ghost-writer.

2. Dracula is at an English pub and the bar tender asks what he'll have to drink. “A virgin bloody Mary”.

3. At the Halloween dinner party, what did the ghost say when the food was coming around? “No thanks, it goes right through me.”

4. A witch is attending a wedding and the couple asked if there was a spell that she could put on them so that they would be together forever. She replied, “Yes,” and turned them into a broom.

5. Why didn't the zombies attack the GOP convention? Zombies are on a strict brains only diet.

6. What is Dr. Frankenstein's overtime shift called? The graveyard shift.

7. What did it cost to build Frankenstein's monster? An arm and a leg.

8. What is Michael Jordan's Halloween costume? The G.O.A.T.

9. How do we stop people from committing random acts of violence? Tell them to stop clowning around.

10. Why did the Headless Horseman not make his gymnastics team? He couldn't do a head stand.

11. What's the biggest irony on Halloween? Candy companies using corn to make corn syrup to eventually make candy corn to resemble actual corn that people eventually consume.

12. How were Cheech and Chong able to defeat Medusa? They were already stoned.

13. What do you call a lady casting spells at the beach? Sandwitch.

14. What is Dracula's favorite Slayer song? Raining Blood.

15. What German dish does Jason order? Blood sausage with a side of cole-slaughter.

16. What is Frankenstein monster's favorite Red Hot Chili Pepper song? Scar Tissue.

17. How do you stop the Boogeyman? Kleenex.

18. Why didn't the zombies go through the maize? It was too corny.

19. Why did the skeleton commit a party foul? They tried to do body shots off of him.

20. What's the difference between vampires, leeches, and lawyers? Vampires and leeches are bloodsuckers by nature.

21. Why was she excited to see the zombies approaching her? The one in the front was wearing a shiny, red leather jacket.

22. How do you pick out a werewolf from a group? Have a naked person bend over in front of them.

23. What's the safest place during a zombie apocalypse? A maggot farm.

24. Why did the Vampire fail culinary school? His garlic bread was lacking one key ingredient.

25. What did the Texas Chainsaw family reply when asked why they did it? “Like Atticus Finch said, 'You never really know a man until you understand things from his point of view, until you climb into his skin and walk around in it'”.

26. What sport do vampires never play? Lacrosse.

27. What's Freddy Krueger's origin story? A little kid accidentally lit Edward Scissorhands on fire.

28. Why should Donald Trump have extra security detail the night before Halloween*. Kids might confuse his orange, bloated face with a pumpkin.

29. What is Jack Skellington's favorite beer? Pumpking.

30. Name the world's top three famous zombies: Rob Zombie, Michael Jackson, and Jesus.

31. Why do kids stop checking if there are monsters under their beds or in their closets? Because they start to understand the scariest ones are actually living inside of us.

*Mischief night: October 30th is the night before Halloween where kids go out and vandalize the neighborhood, typically egging, toilet papering houses, or smashing pumpkins.