Halloween is that one holiday that I place such high expectations on, knowing they will never be met. As a child, I believed Halloween was the second coming of Christ—neighborhoods are required to pass out free candy to children? Sign me up, immediately, and if anything, let's do this on a weekly basis.
For me, picking out a costume might be the worst part of the festivities; neither I nor my mom were gifted with a creativity bone in our body, so once October rolled around, we were in a constant state of panic until we could come up with something.
We usually resorted to ideas that were on either on "The Today Show" or "The View," none of which I ever approved of wearing. My mom had it set in her head that I needed to be "Gum on a Shoe," for years. The costume was simple, and potentially the dorkiest thing I had ever heard of. One wears all pink, from head to toe, and a pink baseball cap on their head. Glued to the pink baseball cap would be a single sneaker...not only was "gum" on the bottom of that shoe, but so was my dignity.
Aside from the "Gum on the Shoe" debacle, my family and I were also very interested in the "quick fix costumes," as I like to call them. Basically, they were not even costumes, just simply household items we could throw on in order for it to be socially acceptable to ask for candy. Some of these included the ever so popular "Smarty Pants," (taping Smarties candy to your pants) and "Cereal Killer," (putting a knife through a cereal box and wearing the box like a chain). In order for any of these "quick fix costumes" to be successful, my philosophy is the "punnier" the better. Any kind of pun that would make your geeky uncle want to tell his coworkers is a perfect solution in my book.
Looking back on these quick fix costumes that I grew up wearing, I'm pretty proud to say that I never was a Pink Power Ranger, even though that was the only costume on my mind for the first eight years of my life.
All in all, with Halloween around the corner, I am starting to develop that yearly ulcer that is caused from costume anxiety. But remember, when stressing out about a costume, think of one thing; no matter how old you are, the house that has the King Sized Candy Bars will always be the only reason you celebrate Halloween!
