One of the questions that I get asked most often about Haiti is; "why Haiti?" Many people that I talk to don't understand why I would pick Haiti of all places to go to. So, I've finally decided to explain it and also some of my experiences in Haiti on this blog.

Let me start from the beginning. My mom has always had a soft spot in her heart for Haiti. She sponsored kids from Haiti and often talked about adoption although that unfortunately never did work out. So even from my early childhood, I had developed a special place in my heart for Haiti, even if I didn't know it at the time. I was 10 when the earthquake quite literally shook the nation to its core. I can remember sitting at my grandma's house a week later watching the news where they showed video footage of bodies being dumped into a mass grave. At the time I didn't entirely understand what had happened but I knew that the people there needed help and I wanted to help but I was only 10 and what can a 10-year-old do? I have never forgotten about the way I felt that day.

A few years later at a church camp, I learned about these people called missionaries who went out all over the world to help people and spread the word of God and I thought that it was the most amazing thing. That night I prayed and I said, "You know God, I just learned about these people called missionaries and I think that one day I might want to do what they're doing so if that is really what you want me to do then just give me the opportunity and I'll go."

Fast forward to my senior year of high school. It's the beginning of the year and I'm in my biomedical science class when I hear one of my classmates say something about how she can't wait to go back to Haiti. Immediately I was like "huh? Haiti?" So my lab partner Madison and I ask her what she's talking about and she tells us about how she went on a mission trip to Haiti last summer. She told us about the things that she did there and the kids and about how it was such a life-changing experience. I got chills and the whole time she was talking I heard this voice in the back of my head saying "this is it. It's time for you to go." My lab partner called her mom at that moment and asked if she could go and her mom was all for it from the start. I, on the other hand, was unsure. I knew that God was telling me to go but at the same time I kept thinking "are you sure?" it's the summer before college and I'm supposed to go on this trip with my dad and I need to do this and that, but no matter what I said the answer was the same. "You need to go."

I continued to question what God was saying and I tried to push Haiti from my mind so that I could finish the school day but I kept hearing in the back of my mind "go. You need to go. This is it."

So then school ended and I drove the 45 minutes to my competitive cheer gym. Like usual when I got there it was only myself and one of my favorite cheerleaders who is also a coach, Mitchell Dowden. For those of you who don't know Mitchell, he is an amazing human and always seemed to have the right things to say (he also took on the task of praying before each full out). I was still battling with what God was telling me about Haiti, so I confided in Mitchell. He listened patiently and when I was done he looked me dead in the eyes and said "Lauren, this is a once in a lifetimes opportunity and God is telling you to take it. You need to go."

So with my friend standing next to me I called my mom and told her about the trip. She said that we would have to talk about it later and that we would also have to talk to my Dad about it. So I went through cheer practice but once again Haiti was always in the back of my mind and even though I had heard from God and now someone who I trusted that I need to go, I was still questioning if God was being serious. So I left cheer still contemplating what to do and on my way home, this song called Oceans came on the radio. I had heard this song before but that day it was like I was hearing it for the first time again because the lyrics suddenly meant something totally different. In this song there is a verse that says "spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me," and that verse hit me hard. It was then that I stopped questioning God and I knew that I needed to go to Haiti because God was leading me where my trust was without borders and it would be scary and the road wouldn't be easy but that is where God was calling me. And from that moment on, I never looked back. I went home and registered for the trip even though I didn't entirely have my parents on board yet. Thankfully, Morning Star Church was willing to bring a teenager who they had never met before on the trip with them, and I am so grateful for that leap of faith on their part. It took a while to get my parents on board with the trip but eventually, my persistence convinced them that something else must truly be going on for me to want to go so badly. So no matter what was thrown at me to make me want to change my mind, I persisted.

Looking back it was kind of crazy for me to go on a trip to a developing nation only truly knowing one other person that I was going with. I hadn't even left the state without my parents at that point, but where God guides, he provides, and he provided me the courage to pack up my bags and go. God led me to Haiti and I have never felt so blessed. I thank him every day for the opportunities that he has given me in that beautiful country that has now stolen so much of my heart. Read my next blog to see exactly how Haiti stole my heart.