Although I pride myself in being independent and not spending my nights trolling Tinder trying to find the man of my dreams, it would be nice to find someone I enjoyed spending more than 10 minutes with. Surprisingly, this is a very difficult thing to do. Guys these days seem to either lack basic social skills or are just looking for a one night stand. I receive countless messages from guys who compliment my appearance, ask for nudes or just say "hey" and then forget how to speak. Those messages go unanswered and straight to my deleted folder, not even getting a second glance. Guys, if you really want my attention (and want to keep it), follow these simple rules.
1. Honesty is the best policy
If you just got out of a long-term relationship and are just looking for a friend, tell me. If you are talking to multiple girls at a time and aren't looking for a serious relationship, tell me. If you are still in love with your ex, please tell me. I am going to figure it out anyway. Honesty is attractive and I am going to respect you more for being up front about it.
2. Text me at 2 PM not 2 AM
How about you ask me how my day is going instead of what I'm doing tonight? How about you ask me to have lunch instead of dinner? The fact that you think about me when the sun is still up, tells me a lot. I don't appreciate those 2 AM, "you up?" messages.
3. Compliment my intelligence, not my appearance
Don't say, "hey gorgeous" or throw a bunch of heart eyed emojis at me and expect me to fall in love. Ask me about my career and why I chose it. Ask me what my goals are. There is more to me than meets the eye.
4. Put forth some real effort
This is one of the hardest concepts for guys to grasp. Texting me once a week or replying with, "sorry I've been super busy lately" is not effort. Effort is making time for me in your busy schedule, suggesting plans (not Netflix and chill), introducing me to your friends and taking an actual interest in me.
5. Stop using pet names
If we are in a relationship, this rule need not apply, but if you barely know me, cut it out. Baby, dollface, gorgeous, sweetie, none of them do it for me. This makes me feel like you don’t know my name or you’re messaging five other girls and don’t want to get us mixed up.
6. Start an actual conversation
I don't want to open a message that says, “damn girl you fine” or "my God you are stunnnnning" (yes this has happened. I just pulled these messages off my insta). Please, I am begging you, ask me about my day or what I do for a living or as much as I hate it ask me what I do for fun (just don’t ask for nudes because that’s not happening).
7. Quit begging for attention
Desperation isn't attractive. I don't find it cute or charming when I scroll through your Facebook feed and it is filled with shirtless photos, pictures of your preworkout or posts about how you are never going to find a "nice girl". Trust me, I roll my eyes every time I see one of these.
8. Confidence is key
This is the biggest turn on for me. No, don’t be a douche and only talk about yourself, but know you are an amazing guy and someone would be lucky to have you. If you don’t love yourself, neither will I.
