Hey, it's me, the girl who's blocking the path you're making through the bar. I'm sorry I didn't see you, I must have had my back turned to you or I'm talking to my friends or I'm just dancing and minding my own business. I didn't know I was in your way and that wasn't my intention.
You could have totally just said excuse me or just taken a different way that didn't involve getting in my personal space but instead, you chose to put your hand on my back without saying anything to me. You may not see what the big deal is in doing that, but for me, it feels violating and rude.
In a world full of #MeToo movements, feminism, and women having to be super cautious at all times, your hand just sent a chill down my spine.
Whether your hand placement was intentional or not, it still has an effect on me. I move forward to get out of your way and move closer to my friends, a safe haven. They have concerned looks on their faces and make sure I'm okay, but they also know that that probably won't be the first time happens to one of us that night. The problems begin when the hand lingers or moves lower or to my waist.
Who gave you permission to keep your hand there? It sure wasn't me.
I guarantee you have the ability to walk past me and my friends without touching any of us or bothering people who already have their backs to you. This is why my friends and I sometimes choose to stay on the edges of the room to eliminate the possibility of situations like this from happening. And it should never matter how much you or I have had to drink, getting in other people's personal space is never okay.
Physically putting your hands on someone, without their permission, isn't cool, and can be seen as some gross power move that needs to just stop.
Next time you and your bros are making your way across the bar or dance floor, keep your hands to yourselves and remember to treat people with the respect they deserve. I know you'll never fully understand why this is so frustrating, but if you could put yourself in my shoes for just a moment, maybe you'd finally get it.
