Every Secret A Guy Needs To Know If He's Going To Date An Equestrian

Every Secret A Guy Needs To Know If He's Going To Date An Equestrian

Navigating this crazy horse world.
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So you chose the crazy horse girl. The girl who spends more time at the barn than at home, who spends her weekends showing and spends her money almost exclusively on horses.

The horse world can be chaotic, confusing and very expensive. Often the lingo can sound like a foreign language, so here are some tips to help you get by.

1. Her horse will come before you.

Her horse has been there long before you have. Show prep will come before date nights and it’s not because she doesn’t love you, it’s because she also loves this sport.

2. You are now an amateur photographer and videographer.

Your camera roll will be full of videos of her, her horse, her riding her horse, etc. Oh, and don’t stop recording if she starts falling, we love some fail footage.

3. No, the horses are not blindfolded...

... They're just wearing fly masks

4. Go to her shows...

... it will mean the world to her. Celebrate her successes by her side and be there if she doesn’t pin in one of her classes. Supporting her doing something she loves is the best thing any guy can do for his girlfriend.

5. ... But show days will feel like the longest day of your life.

You’ll be holding halters, saddles, and horses. You’ll be wiping her boots as she’s about to enter the show ring and taking lots of pictures and videos. You’ll be hot and sweaty and probably a bit confused by the show lingo, but at the end of the day, you’ll have the happiest girlfriend.


6. That's a miniature horse, not a baby.

Yep, that’s as big as he’s getting. Yep, he’s an adult.

7. If she's a working student, bring her lots of food and coffee.

Especially during the winter months sometimes a hot chocolate is all she needs to get through the last few lessons of the night.

8. Keep some treats in your pocket.

Do anything it takes to win the horse over.

9. If she says she's going to the barn for an hour, don't expect her to be back for three.

Things come up unexpectedly… ponies need schooling, someone forgets to blanket a horse. There are always things to be done around the barn so an hour trip is out of the question.

10. Don't walk behind the horse.

Just don't do it. Rookie mistake.

11. If you go tack shopping, expect to leave broke.

An equestrian can never have too much of anything. The polo wraps are obviously calling her name even though she has ten pairs at home.. and the saddle pads… and the polos.

12. Support her as she pursues what she loves.

Riding can be crazy, draining and exhausting. Some days she’ll fall asleep during the opening credits of the movie or opt to stay in for date night. Some weekends will be packed with shows leaving little time to see her. Some nights her horse will need her and she’ll have to go. But she’s doing what she loves and the best thing you can do is support her, even if you don’t understand this crazy world we call equestrianism.

Cover Image Credit: Grace Jicha Photography

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved
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To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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