Dear You,

For the past few years, I've been the girl that never needed a guy. I've been the girl that was happy alone, in fact I was so happy alone, I didn't even talk to the opposite sex. I liked things this way; there was no drama, no pain, and there were no real "dating candidates" in my life. Anyway, I came to college thinking, "I'm going to stay alone and not fall for any guys until I meet the one I want to marry," which trust me, I know is a little unrealistic, but I was adamant about it. I came to college, met some guys, and still felt that being single was the best thing for me--until I met one guy in particular--you.

You seemed so different from everyone else. You didn't want sex, you weren't drooling over girls, you loved God with all of your heart and you were a passionate, intelligent man. I still thought to myself, "don't fall for him," but we know that didn't happen. Of course, I fell for you, I mean you were exactly what I wanted in a man. Honestly, I didn't think I was going to find anyone that would come close to my standards, but you met every single one. It's been a crazy roller coaster of emotions because I've put my 10,000% in when I shouldn't have. I've definitely made lots of mistakes with you; I've been jealous, mean, fast-paced, crazy, and all of these things at once. I was becoming all of the things I didn't want to be with the one guy I truly wanted. I was very upset with myself, and I just kept thinking, "Should I give up on you? Will you ever like me?" Every time I prayed, God always told me never to give up, but I kept feeling like I was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result (which is the definition of insanity.)

I realized it was me who was going about things the same way and not changing and not taking things slow. Instead I let my emotions take control of every single conversation, word and look I gave you. I finally realized what I was doing wrong and why I needed to stop before it got even more out of hand than it already was. I'm not going to lie, it's hard not to think about what we could be in the future. It's hard not to let my thoughts about you consume me, but I'm doing alright. I'm not obsessing anymore. I'm not letting my emotions get out of control anymore. I'm learning not to let myself get so attached to you. I'm learning to love the parts of me that are still hard for me to love. I'm working on myself. I'm learning that when I see you every day I don't need to be fearful or get upset. I'm learning that I should never put anyone above God. Most of all, I'm learning that everything is in God's timing, and I can't rush things. I'm learning to be patient. I'm learning to not think of time in the same fast and crazy-paced way I have always thought of it. I'm learning not to melt when I see your face. I'm learning to not let my emotions get the best of me. I'm strong and I know I can do this. No, I'm not giving up on you or my feelings for you, I'm giving on the old me and the old way I did things. I'm taking a different approach at things, (for once in my life) and I'll let you know how it goes. Or maybe you can let me know how you think it goes.

From,

The Girl That Likes You