To start, I know you recognized me when you pretend you’re too cool to remember me / say hi first. Seriously. You should get over that.
But I’m not just writing for you.
I’m also writing for the guy that I’ve been crushing on since August. You’re so wonderful, but I’m so tired of basing not only my worth, but also my happiness on whether you text me or not (it’s usually the latter). I’m tired of expending all of my energy on reading into you and your actions in hopes that maybe my feelings for you will one day be reciprocated.
I’m also writing for the guys who dance on (note – not with … aka please go away) me even after I politely try to avoid and escape you. I know you know when a girl is into you and isn’t, so please have respect for girls who don’t want to dance with you.
I’m also writing for girls who may act similarly to me, finding value in themselves through the eyes of immature college boys who have no clue how valuable you actually are. I’m writing for those who think they aren’t good enough because they’ve been single for x amount of time, or haven’t had a hook up in a really long time, or a boy didn’t want to dance with you, et cetera, et cetera.
I am writing to tell you that is not the case.
I am writing to remind us that we are worthy of so much more than what we are lead to believe. We are worthy of a great and deep love, and it doesn’t matter who we are. We are worthy because we are. No explanations or validation needed.
I’m all about exuding unconditional love to the world. All I want is for people to know that they deserve to feel good and loved and happy. But here’s the thing – I am a person, too. I deserve to feel good, too. And there comes a point in time when sacrificing your happiness for others becomes unhealthy. All relationships – romantic and platonic – should be uplifting and even rewarding, and if that isn’t the case, then you need to take a step back and reevaluate. I’m not saying to become closed off and unkind, but sometimes giving too much can be damaging.
You are a person, too. You deserve to be happy, too.
So, returning to the grinders, it is okay to tell them to stop. They are not considering your feelings, so it is okay for you to be “impolite” and let them know you don’t want them around.
I also need to mention that not I’m not stereotyping all guys as soul-sucking, sadness-inducing perverts, because the same night that I was unwelcomely danced on and disappointed by a lack of progress with my crush, I had a wonderful time with wonderful people. Who happened to be guys. In fact, they put in so much effort into making sure that I was okay and took action when they discovered I wasn’t okay. At one point, they even formed a shield around me to hide me from my persistent grinder. At the end of the night, I called them to make sure they had gotten home safely and ended up talking to one of them for an hour because he wanted to make sure I was okay. He told me I was wonderful and reminded me of my worth, and that’s what I hope to do in this article.
So, no, not all guys suck, but that isn’t the point.
The point is that my worth, and yours, does not correlate to a man’s opinion of me. It does not originate there, never has and never will. I am beautiful, funny, kind, generous, and radiant, and I will not allow a man to take that away from me.
And I hope you don’t either. You are beautiful, funny, kind, generous, and radiant. I hope you never allow a man to take that away from you. You are so precious, and I hope you realize that they are the undeserving ones. You are wonderful. You are beautiful. You are worthy. Please, don’t forget that.
So to the guy who refuses to tell me hi, to the guy I still low-key hope to get married to, to the guy who was very persistent in dancing, and to all the others: I am good enough. I am wonderful. I am beautiful. I am worthy. I do not need you to remind me of that. I refuse to let you diminish my radiance.
Ladies – we are wonderful. We are beautiful. We are worthy.
Don’t forget that.