I Don't Know If I Am Ready For A Relationship, So I'm Staying Single

I Don't Know If I Am Ready For A Relationship, So I'm Staying Single

Timing is always of the essence.
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Recently, people have been asking me how I am still single or why I am still single. To give an honest answer, I don’t know what I want. This answer does upset some girls when I tell them because they want to be ready — but the thing for me is I never know when I will be ready.

Some days I’ll say to myself I think I am ready and other days I’ll think maybe its better to be single. So why do I change? Certain times, to be completely honest, I don’t know. 85% of the time I never know what to do when it comes to certain decisions this big and I never know when I should say to myself I’m ready.

As I have seen more of my friends begin dating and having cute relationships I sometimes say that’s what I want and I am ready for that. However, I then ask a question that I have been asking myself since my senior year of high school: “Do I want a relationship because it’s what I want or because everyone else I know is in one?” After I ask this question, I then realize that maybe a relationship isn’t what I want right now. Don’t get me wrong I do love being a part of a couple and going on dates but I can’t seem to give a reason for why I am so between wanting a relationship and not wanting one.

One thing that has always been a huge deal for me is my friends. My friends are the ones I confide so many of my feelings in and are the reason I have so many memorable experiences in college. My friends are always there for me and while I know that the girl I start dating will do the same thing that gets me nervous is if they will ever get tired of me. When I was 17 a girl told me “Can’t you take the hint you are so annoying and I don’t want to talk to you?” Hearing these words made not talk to people as much and come up with a rule of waiting for times to text people to ensure space.

When dating one thing that comes to mind is how much time you spend with your significant other. I do love spending time with the people I date but one thing that I get intimidated by is if/when I annoy them. My best friend just told me how he likes attention which is normal and very similar to me. I like the idea of feeling needed and I guess that’s something I want in a relationship. I know not everyone is comfortable giving attention 24/7 and I understand that but one thing I do want in a relationship is someone who will always be comfortable with me and enjoys my presence.

I haven’t been in many relationships but I know based on my family and friends in relationships that they found the perfect one and that is what I aspire to find as well. I want someone who can be my best friend and someone who I can be myself around. My friends jokingly say the trifecta for me is Jewish, High School Musical lover and fan of vines. While these are a few things that describe me I would hope that there is more I look for in a woman. The woman I want to be with is someone who I will love and want with me. So that’s why I am still single.

I haven’t found the one who has made me say "I really want to be with you." And as of right now I don’t think I am in a rush.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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What I Wish I Knew About Life After High School Before I Had To Live It

Life after high school isn't always what you expected it to be.

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So you're about to graduate high school and you think you have it all figured out. You and your best friends are going to stay close throughout college and you're going to take those long road trips in college to see each other. Think again.

Life after high school isn't always what you want it to be. You think you'll miss high school, you'll always be close with your high school besties, and you'll have all this free time in college. That's just not entirely true. I personally do not miss high school. I don't really talk to anyone I went to high school with on a regular basis, and I'm totally OK with that. I have friends in college that I believe will be my lifelong friends whereas my friends in high school didn't make an effort to keep in contact with me after high school.

I haven't had all the free time I've dreamed of in college, because I'm busy with school and meetings. When I'm not doing homework, I'm making sure the rest of my life is in order and all my stuff for school is in line. I'm not the crazy party girl that people think I am because of where I go to school. I'd rather sit in bed and watch Netflix than go out with my friends. I'm not a 4.0 student, but I work so hard in my classes just to make sure that I'm passing. I study a week before tests and still don't always make A's. And that's OK. It's not what I expected during my college years, but it's what's happening, and most of my friends are the same way.

Anne Marie Bonadio

Just know that life in college isn't all easy, breezy, and beautiful like Covergirl. It's hard and you will struggle whether it be in school or with your friends. College isn't always complete freedom. You'll be tied down with school and life and you won't have the free time that you always imagined. You won't always be best friends with your high school friends. You won't be taking those road trips because you won't be able to afford them, and if you're like me, your parents won't let you.

College won't be exactly what you dreamed it'll be, but it'll be some of the best years of your life.

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