When I met you, I really thought you were smarter than this. I’ve met and hung out with all of her exes and ‘almosts’ and to be honest, I immediately hated them. I thought they were idiots with brains the sizes of peas and I knew they’d be gone soon; she may have loved them because she’s an amazing person and doesn’t go into anything half-hearted, but she wasn’t serious about them.
She was living in the moment, and that was just fine.
She’d been single for a while when you came along. And honestly, she was so happy with life. She was killing it with her career even though she was a recent grad and just sincerely enjoying life in every little way possible. It was beautiful and so was she.
You two had met on Tinder and so I was skeptical of course when she first mentioned your name. But she said you were nice, that you were different than the rest of the schlubs on there.
After your first date she texted me, because I was not about to let her meet some Tinder guy without checking in after and she giggled as she said you were short, but you had a big-fun loving personality and that you were extremely sweet and nice. I was happy for her.
From then on it was a whirl-wind in our group message. We started texting, Facetiming and hanging out a little less because she was busy with you. I didn’t mind because every time she talked about you her face lit up and she seemed so happy.
Then life happened.
You graduated and moved far away, you guys had been dating for 6 months at this time, and you both decided to try. She had so much faith in you. She wasn’t worried in the slightest. She was so proud of your big-boy job and she was sincerely happy for you.
You guys managed the distance without a hitch for what, a month and a half? It seemed to be going really well. She still seemed so happy, she missed you like crazy but she was happy.
Then she went to visit you.
It was a four and a half hour drive. I know because when she drove back in tears I was on the phone with her, trying to calm her down, trying to keep her safe. Which you apparently could have cared less about. Yeah, don't think I didn't notice that one. That showed more of your character than anything honestly. Scum.
While she was there, you got hammered and proclaimed your love for her. She asked me for advice. Should she say something?
When she brought it up to talk about it you broke up with her. It was literally out of nowhere. You just weren’t ‘feeling it’. That's utter baloney.
So my advice to you, the only thing I have to say to you is this: live it up. Live it up as much as you possibly can because in 6 months when the shine wears off that new city of yours, you’re going to regret this more than anything you’ve ever regretted in your entire life.
You see, I may not always be the best, or the nicest person, but d*mn, do I know how to pick ‘em. I have the best friends in the entire world. The girl you hurt, the happy, beautiful girl you decided to just toss aside is the most loyal, happy, kind, generous, fun-loving, easy-going, gorgeous girl I know. You hit the frickin’ lottery and decided to take the costume jewelry instead. How big of a cocky idiot can you be?
Honestly, I know she’s hurting right now, but she’s getting better and better, happier and happier every single day. I’m starting to see little pieces of the happy she was before you. And I’m glad for this. Not just because she’s getting better, but also for you breaking up with her. That may sound contradictory to this entire article but this is evidence.
It’s evidence that you’re just not good enough for her. She’s the sun and you’re Pluto: you’re not even a frickin’ planet. She deserves so much better and she will find it. I’ll make sure of it. And I’ll also make sure that when you regret this in six months, and come crawling back, you don’t have a shot in hell. Because she was right and wrong about you, you are short, but not just with your height, you’re short of character. She deserves so much better and she will get it.
Peace out brah, you won’t be missed.
