It’s about that time in my life where the people that have watched me grow up are constantly reminding me of how proud they are of the person I’ve become and my accomplishments. Not only are these compliments amazing to hear, but they also remind me of the hard work I’ve had to put in to actually become the person I am today, which about a year ago was someone I had never thought I’d be.
Over the past year or so I’ve really grown to love and accept the person that I am. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and I’m participating in all of the things that I want and love to do. However, this lifestyle wasn’t easy to accomplish and I’ve faced a number to obstacles to get here. Not to mention, before I decided to transition to this way of life, I completely despised myself. Although this wasn’t easy, it’s the best thing I could’ve ever done for myself and I wouldn’t change the challenging journey it required for anything in the world. That being said, here are a few of the essential tips that I find highly effective when it comes to learning to love and accept who you are.
1. Put yourself first.
I know this sounds a little bit selfish but that’s because… it kind of is. In your life it is important that you are primarily pleasing yourself in every situation that you are in. This tip is probably the one I struggled with the most considering I did the complete opposite for most of my life. I often did whatever I could to make other people happy in order to feel some kind of acceptance and satisfaction within myself. I also found myself doing whatever I could to constantly fit in with a crowd, whether it was something I was comfortable doing or not. Living this way, I was never happy, and to cover up that unhappiness I would just continue doing what I could to make everyone else happy.
Now, the tables are completely turned. I live entirely for myself. Everything I do is because I want to do it and every situation I put myself in is somehow benefiting me in terms of mental satisfaction. Let me tell you, it feels absolutely AMAZING. I don’t want you to confuse this with only doing things for myself, though. This mental satisfaction comes from all sorts of things ranging from volunteering my time and helping others, to practicing for hours straight or reading a book. The difference between my old mindset and this new one is that I’m simply spending my time doing things that make ME happy and that allow ME to grow alongside others instead of watching them from a distance. I no longer depend on others for my happiness and instead spend my time achieving it myself and I wouldn’t ask for it any other way.
2. Work toward your future…but not TOO much.
Our future is obviously very important and something we should always be working toward, but it’s very easy to get so caught up in working that you forget to live in the moment. Learning to enjoy your life day to day is extremely important when it comes to accepting who you are simply because you are only the person you are in this very moment and no future is ever really guaranteed to you. Constantly working toward future your can cause you to ignore your current self and that can lead having insecurities and being unhappy with yourself. I still struggle with this a little bit just because it’s so hard to not constantly be thinking about the future, especially when you want to be successful and reach your goals. But, I’ve learned to balance out taking care of present me and future me to the best of my abilities and continue to work on it every day.
The main suggestion I have for this is to simply take care of yourself. Allow yourself to work toward your future but make sure you’re rewarding yourself for this work in terms of keeping who you are right now confident and happy. A few things I’ve done to achieve this is treat myself every once in a while to something nice. A reward really helps when it comes to trying to achieve a goal. It almost forces you to strive to continue and eventually complete a goal. I’ve also joined a gym to keep myself active and healthy. Working out ensures a confidence like no other. I feel amazing after I hit the gym and it keeps me motivated and energized (not to mention, I love being fit!). And finally, having good personal hygiene is a great way to take care of yourself. A mani-pedi here and there never hurts, believe me! I also recommend taking good care of your hair and skin with masks and moisturizers, it leaves you feeling confident and refreshed and is a great way to benefit and reward the present you. Don’t forget to get enough sleep and drink lots of water as well (those two are for sure the ones I tend to forget the most!)!
Taking care of yourself is extremely essential to achieving self acceptance and self love. We sometimes brush right past this concept because of how determined we are to get to the future, but engaging in these few tips might benefit you a lot more then you think and would definitely allow you to be more comfortable with who you are.
3. Stop comparing yourself to others.
I’m sure you’ve heard this a gazillion times already, but once you actually start to follow it, life becomes so much better, I promise! By constantly comparing yourself to other people, you’re never going to be happy because you will never be those people. The best thing to do when in this situation is to take all of that energy you’re using to compare yourself and use it to better yourself, whether it’s physically or mentally. Why bother wasting your life away comparing yourself to everyone else when you can easily spend your time engaging in things that make you happy? I get it, it’s hard to do these days with the media constantly determining our perception of beauty, but it’s definitely possible. This tip can be linked back to the idea of taking care of yourself. It can also link back to devoting your life to yourself. If you’re that unhappy with who you are, use your time to change or improve it. This concept was so hard for me to grasp. I used to LOVE to compare myself to others which is so ironic because it made me so unhappy. 1 thing I can say is that no matter how much I compared, nothing ever changed and it wasn’t until I got up and started making these changes myself that I saw any type of result. The mental and physical results I’ve gotten from no longer comparing myself to other people are unbelievable. Instead of comparing, I simply just take note and accept. It’s so much easier than stressing out over someone I’ll never be. If I like something, I do what I can to make it happen and when I put enough work into it, it always does.
As you can see, loving and accepting yourself is far from easy. These few tips are only the beginning of the hard work and strength that it takes. Although it’s a long process, I’m here to show you that it is possible and that the results are incomparable to anything else. Life is truly a dream when you’re living it for yourself!
