Self-love is an often-discussed subject among women, but it’s not quite as common to hear men talk about it, or hear people address men when talking about the importance of loving yourself. This topic came up when I was hanging out with a group of friends last week. It was the first time I’d ever heard guys discussing the subject and because one of them was particularly passionate about it, I decided to interview him further about his opinions on self-love.
Andrew, the bassist from The Interns, helped me come up with a guide to self-improvement and ultimately, self-love. However, he noted that it’s important to make sure that whatever changes you’re making, you’re making for yourself. “If you feel pressured from your friends or your family or society to be a certain way or look a certain way or act a certain way, I think that’s the worst thing about American culture - and sort of the world," he said. "But if there’s something about yourself that you personally, genuinely don’t like about yourself, you can change it. It’s tough and it takes effort and you have to really want to change it, but you can do it,"
1. Take a step back.
“Examine what you do on a day to day basis, how you’re spending your time and who you’re spending it with. Then try to identify the factor or the factors that are bringing you down," Andrew said. Singling out the problem will make it easier to tackle it moving forward.
2. Open up to someone.
Andrew shared with me that when he was going through a tough time, this was something very helpful to him. “It sounds really obvious, but it helped me and I think it’s really important. Just find somebody that you can talk to and that you can trust. They don’t necessarily have to be actively helping,” you may or may not be going to them for advice, “but even if it’s someone that you can talk to and they’ll listen and they’ll care, that’s good enough.”
3. Come up with a game plan.
“If there is a part of you physically that you really don’t like, or even mentally, you can set your mind to it and change it. You know, you can work out or just change your hair. If it’s mental, there are always ways to improve yourself – as long as you’re doing it for yourself”, Andrew reminds us. Set goals for yourself and remember that change doesn’t come overnight, it’s a process and something you need to work on one day at a time until eventually everything sorts itself out.4. Don’t dwell on anything you have no control over.
“If something is out of your power to fix or change, why would you dwell or spend time on it?”
5. Focus on the positives.
Going off of my previous point, focus on the things you do have control over and work on those. Focus on the people in your life who are supportive and who want the best for you. Focus on the factors that make you happiest, and hold on to any and all positive energy you’re surrounded with.
